I had a conversation with someone yesterday and I have been bothered by some things that the person said. For starters this person has known me for a while so it wasn't like they just sat there and made 'ish up but I just have been bothered by it because I think that in general this is the perception that people might have and if so, then I am I wrong to be defensive about me?
1. I am a very self-absorbed person. I don't think about anyone elses feelings when I have some agenda. All I want is to reach that agenda no matter what the cost even if it damages relationships even if it makes people hurt.
2. I am not understanding of other people's opinions and can be abrasive and a bully to a large extent when I don't get my way
3. I have a distorted view of authority based on my past and view authority as a force I must compete against as opposed to respect. I prejudge that those senior to me will always misuse power and brace myself for that, any indication of such even slightly causes me to go on the war path
4. I am not a free spirit but very rigid in my views on life, love and people.
5. I prejudge people based on my gut instinct and I am not forgiving of past faults.
6. I am not impartial to people but treat some people better than others giving them more chances and allowing them graces while others just get one chance and they are out or done
7. My friends are loyal to me but I treat them like shit bullying them and putting them down sometimes even yelling and cutting them off.
8. I am too emotional and allow everything to be a personal afront on me. This goes back to me being very self absorbed
9. I have some serious issues in my past that are allowing me to treat people in my present the same way.
10. I have trust issues.
Well there was more but this is all that I focused on. In otherwords I am a bitch to my friends and very selfish, diva in my attitude and put people down. I am controlling and manipulating.
After the person was done, I just couldn't believe that anyone who knows me would think this of me. So today is not a good day. Today is a day where I am seriously hurt and thinking...What the FUCK!!!!
15 comments:
Well for starters, most people have some of those “qualities”, so I guess it’s not particularly unique to you. So don’t feel put down, just listen up and if you truly think you are No. 2, 6 or 7, then it’s a good thing you know now rather than when you are set in your ways. It’s more like constructive criticism...
Nice Blog.
Uhuh...constructive criticism. At least you now know some of them and can work at being more flexible and forgiving.
hahaha...who be dat..whose the mofo...the person is talking about the same busayo i know and prolly deserves whutevah u dished 'em :op
hahaha...who be dat..whose the mofo...the person is talking about the same busayo i know and prolly deserves whutevah u dished 'em :op
okay u have got to admit that there is a tiny element of truth in some of them
close your eyes and take them one by one and u will c that some of them applying
now the person might have blown it out of proportion but there some truth sprinkled it
look at it this way at least now u know what the person thinks about u so y'all can stop pretending
Hmm that is some constructive criticism at its peak! In all honesty you cant be bothered with them all, you just have to take it one step at time, see which of them all has some credibility you could identify with and see some constructive ways you could help it without really affecting your persona!
Have a good one !!
@ Rj: I actually don't believe that any of these apply to me. The funny thing is that I feel like I am quit the opposite.
@ Kafo and Vixen: I think that there is a line between being constructive and being a dick
@Tope: Don't mind them jare! They don't know me if that is what they feel
@ Naijadued: I guess I wouldn't be so upset if I felt it was a credible evaluation of who I am
at least you have people in your life that can be honest with you. no matter how much they hurt your feelings. When one person says something, then perhaps they are just being an ass. But when its consistent feedback, then perhaps there is some truth to it.
As someone mentioned above, we all have some degree of the traits that your friend thinks you possess.
"The funny thing is that I feel like I am quit the opposite."
looks to me like you are still in denial though?
Princess I'm saying this out of love. Aren't you tired of being tired? It's like you are so irrate. I have been reading your blogs for a very long time and honey, it's like you have some deep embedded issues of hurt in your heart, but yet you blow it (the hurt, pain, anger, etc.,) off on other people. The funny thing is that you know the answer, but I guess you aren't fed up enough.
Remember your reocurring dream that you had. Dang girl, the answer was given to you and yet you still trippin. You need to let God give you a whole heart surgery operation, I'm saying this out of love.
Your friends and family really love you and that's so beautiful. I know you are grateful for them putting up with your heavy bags of crap. You do have too much luggage. However, don't wear your love ones out with this mess of hurt. You reap what you sow, that's if you are a Christian or not. So if you sowing all this crap and acting/being quite, well, you know, then that's what you are going to get a harvest of. Please, make a change and save you future. You can not sow thorns and expect a harvest of roses. You get me? Again, this is just tough love to you. You are killing yourself slowly, so get it together!
PS
Sorry I had to be a little rough, but I care about you.
Hello Lady A
I do not have some repressed anger but i am not blowing it out on people. The fact of the matter is that the way you percieve a person's writings is not the same way the write it. That is why I feel like the person got me all wrong and you are getting me all wrong too.
In all sincerity I use my blog as a venting pot for things that irritate me. And also as a point for the things that make me happy.
Funny enough you only comment when I write negative stuff, it would be good to hear your "voice" in the positive stuff I write as well
But thank you for your comment it is greatly appreciated.
Maybe Lady A comments on the negative because that's the stuff you need to hear. It sounds like more than one person is in agreement with what this origional person said. Doesn't that tell you something?
Dear Anonymous
Thank you for your comment. If you read what I said correctly you will find I did not say that LadyA was negative I said she only responds when I post something negative. I find that there is a line between criticm and being judgemental.
More than one person agrees (including me) that I have to change stuff. But it is interesting to me that I have evolved from the person I used to be to the person I am now and yet I get no credit for how far I have come.
And as all people go it is hard to take critiscm about yourself. I don't care who you are. It is very difficult and so even though I respect your opinion however and than you for adding your two cents!
Hey girl
I am so sorry that I misread some of your bloggings. Yes I do recall that you said you use the blogging as a venting outlet, which if fine, but I guess everything I read it seemed you were ticked off or something. Even with your wedding wars. I admitt you had plenty reason to be PO with some of the things that happened, like that caterer. Any event, I do commend you for your openess/realness, you tend to put it all out there and I like that. Keep it up. Matter of fact, my love to you is that I'll post "mostly" on the positive blogs *smile*
Hey LadyA
I appreciate the realness of your posts. Don't hesitate to post when you feel the way you do. I don't want you to hold back. I can take it and I appreciate it.
The same goes for Anonymous and whoever else. This is a blog and if you don't agree with anything I say or you have something to share spill it out. That is why people blog for others to see into what htey can't see for themselves.
thanks for visiting my blog and Wedding Wars is another venting outlet. Feel free to write there as well
Thanks. I wish other girlfriends would put on the "big girl draws" too. It's all good.
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