Yeah, I call myself peotic justice, well here is a part of me, that I hate to share with you but then again you are my venting system so soak it up!
I spent the better part of my night thinking hard about self worth. How much do you value yourself? How much of yourself are you willing to change? How much have you already changed?
I spent the better part of my night crying to myself. How far have you hurt yourself to find yourself? Have you truly become yourself? Are you happy with yourself?
I spent the better part of my dreams as nightmares. Can you close your eyes in peace? Are you at peace? Have you lost the ability to find peace?
I spent the better part of my night hugging myself. Am I beautiful to myself? Am I amazing to myself? Can I appreciate and love myself?
Even now I stare at this mirror as its back si turned to me.
Afraid to turn it around to stare at my chubby face
Afraid to look in the mirror at my strong neck
My wonderful full size curves
I stare at the back of the mirror and cry
Even now I stare at the reflection in the water
Afraid to accept and love what I am seeing
Looking back at me I hate and despise what I view
I am disgusted by what I know is true
Even now I pass by the glass window and look away
The gross curves that share this dispicable fate
Yet other say "Oh how beautiful you have grown"
I fixate on that word "grown" as I contemplate
Quick fixes to my current fate
In a short while I will open up my heart to accept and love again what has evolved into me. But I hate how I feel right now as I curl up in my sheets and cry...
1 comment:
oh b, don't be so hard on yourself. you're beautiful and you know it! you know you have such wonderful qualities, more than those of some skinny girls put together (think nya =). most importantly, you got God who loves you as you are and uncle b, who loves you for you. and friends you can count on. just be healthy and don't worry about numbers. they are just that... numbers. don't try to fit into a mold. every one is built different. don't do this to yourself because you have more than others could ever wish for. imagine if all that was taken from you? what you look like would be the least of your problems. pls, don't keep on like this because it may alienate uncle b and you'd subconciously pass it on to the beautiful girls you may one day have. we love you and we'll see you soon!
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