To answer that question let me just say that there is nothing wrong with crying. So if you are sitting there thinking you are the "strong "tuff" person that you are" take a moment and realize that even "Jesus Wept" so if the God almighty let some tears go then by god, quit being a little shit and let the tears flow.
Well three things make me cry
1. Anger: When I am so angry I have to hold back my emotions (like the feeling to punch a person in the face) or hold back my tongue (like the feeling to tell a person what I really think about who they are) then I cry. But never in front of the person though, because then they realize that they hurt me. No! I cry by myself in my room, in my car or while walking randomly on the street.
2. Dissappointing myself: I probably harder on myself than anyone else could ever be. I am so hard on myself that any imperfection that I see, or feel, I struggle hard to fix even to the detrament of my health.
3. Failure: Ugh! this is the biggest tear jerker for me. I hate failing at anything. Of course this includes relationships, school work and even shopping. I get frustrated with myself for failing a person or a task. I cry about it, I struggle to hold my emotions and rationalize that it wasn't my fault but no matter how hard I try I always feel bad.
Okay why bring this up! Well for starters all three emotions came up this week with me. I was angry at someone, I dissappointed myself because I studied really hard for a test and failed it big time, and I felt failure becuase I ended up not following through with a promise to someone (even though it wasn't my fault)
So basically, I feel like shit! I apologize profusely to my wonderful friends that I couldn't see this weekend, and let me just say that I feel worse than you will ever know because that's just the emotional person I am...
And to the teacher who failed me on that test...well, it wasn't your fault I didn't understand the questions! I will study harder
Finally to the freindship that has officially ended and I will no longer feel emotional ties or feelings for, adios...and you will NEVER have this much control or bring out these emotions from me EVER again!
Peace!
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3 comments:
Came to check you out from Vixen. I think a good cry is just as cleansing as a good laugh. Get it out honey!
Hey Christine!! *waving*
To Poetic---> all the lovely dirt I'm learning just reading your blog...tres magnifique!
it's okay dear. don't be so hard on yourself. think of it this way, there are many more opportunities to make things up in life (unless it was a final in your final semester!) hope that made you laugh. take care, take it easy and will give you an update, ok?
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