Here I am

That is just wrong!

I disapper for a few days and no one even cares. Now I see how much love I get. Well what is going on in my little world? I finally spoke to her. I mean I might as well speak and get this out of the way. I wasn't avoiding her but honestly she wasn't number 1 on my priority list coupled with the exams and wedding and family issues i wasn't really ready to open a door that had been shut. Well here is what the conversation produced

1. That I should not worry about the past because I am clean. He lied! Short and simple. I mean he mentioned that B.F. was the one that had told him that I had blabbered thier business to everyone in my family.  Funny enough I don't talk to B.F. and I wasn't speaking to her at the time. In fact the first time in almost three years that B.F. and I had spoken was December when I went up to see Vixen. So it was a lie. He made it up to make me look bad again. I feel maybe he called B.F. himself and then to get himself out of trouble he said I had called her. Funny enough she and B.F. weren't friends so the fact that he was speaking to her is just baffling. But i really don't care.

2. I was accused of being friends for money. Anyone who knows me knows that I am not a gold digger. I make my own way. I have always struggled and survived. Funny enough, I hated her when we first met and it took years to develop a relationship. Unlike him, I didn't need her father's money to survive. Unlike him money wasn't my motivation. I liked and cared about her because I felt she genuinely cared about me. I felt that our friendship was based on trust and honesty.  People point out flaws for you that they are scared to admit for themselves

3. I am so over them. I mean even when speaking I didn't really care what went down. I said my peice, didn't get angry or upset. Maybe I have matured, I don't know...Whatever it was just this immense peace came over me that when old wounds were open, they didn't bleed. I mean seriously! I wasn't upset and I found some humor in it.

4. There is closure to that part of my life. I still love her but I realize that now after such a long seperation, that things aren't the way they used to be. I will always love her but life goes on and well...maybe it's best to let the door stay closed and communicate through the window.

I am a Christian and have forgiven and am done with that chapter of my life. It was funny but things that usually upset me and get my riled up and angry didn't do that.

In other news, I am officially pissed off at the weather man. Okay so school was closed today and i thought it would be closed for the whole day but I was wrong. School was open tonight and I had a flipping test which I totaly bombed because I didn't study. Well I am about to bomb another presentation tomorrow if the weather man doesn't call for snow!

I feel like this whole semester I have been playing catch up! Graduation is coming soon. Thank God!

My girls are coming from bmore this weekend and I am pissed because I got a notice from the Lawyer and others that I have to be in court on Saturday from 3:00 and to worsen the situation, I don't know how long this $ish is going to take. If they had made my appointment in NY that woudl have been better but nope! They took me upstate New York! WTF!~

But I am still hoping to make it to the clubbing that night if I can catch a train in time and meet up with them.

Well that is it for now

For those who are wondering after four days of puking and liquids Baby is doing fine. He had a stomach flu and for the first time I was allowed to be a nurse to him. That was interesting. I dont' like it when he is sick because it brough back memories of Vixen and hospitals. Especially when we were in the E.R. God!

Anyway, he is better now so I am smiling!

I should have been a nurse. I mean with all the body liquids that I have had to take care of between my family and friends. Wow! Chicken soup anyone?