Sometimes It Hurts To Much...

I was so upset last night I had to read my Bible. I spent the better part of the day meditating and this verse kept popping in my head: Psalm 27:10. I read the whole Psalm 27 again and again. My amazing sister Menty bought me this new bible called "the Message" and the way it takes a verse and makes it your own is amazing. This is poetry. I spent the rest of the day crying and praying. And feeling really down about the decision I made but I realize now that if i don't take a stand now, then I will continue to be upset.

I dedicate this to you. Wishing you the best even if that isn't what you want for yourself. You are the one person in this world I have known and loved longer than myself. And you just threw that all away. You hurt me more than anyone in the world...I tried my best for you and now I have am going to live for me. I am done!

1 Light, space, zest— that's God!

So, with him on my side I'm fearless,

afraid of no one and nothing.

2 When vandal hordes ride down

ready to eat me alive,

Those bullies and toughs

fall flat on their faces.

3 When besieged,

I'm calm as a baby.

When all hell breaks loose,

I'm collected and cool.

4 I'm asking God for one thing,

only one thing:

To live with him in his house

my whole life long.

I'll contemplate his beauty;

I'll study at his feet.

5 That's the only quiet, secure place

in a noisy world,

The perfect getaway,

far from the buzz of traffic.

6 God holds me

head and shoulders

above all who try to pull me down.

I'm headed for his place to offer anthems

that will raise the roof!

Already I'm singing God-songs;

I'm making music to God.

7-9 Listen, God, I'm calling at the top of my lungs:

"Be good to me! Answer me!"

When my heart whispered,

"Seek God,"

my whole being replied,

"I'm seeking him!"

Don't hide from me now!

9-10 You've always been right there for me;

don't turn your back on me now.

Don't throw me out, don't abandon me;

you've always kept the door open.

My father and mother walked out and left me,

but God took me in.

11-12 Point me down your highway, God;

direct me along a well-lighted street;

show my enemies whose side you're on.

Don't throw me to the dogs,

those liars who are out to get me,

filling the air with their threats.

13-14 I'm sure now I'll see God's goodness

in the exuberant earth.

Stay with God!

Take heart. Don't quit.

I'll say it again:

Stay with God.