I find it interesting that the Nigerian culture teaches us that tears is a sign of weakness. Remember how in High School if you cried for getting flogged that ment you lacked stamina. Remember how when your parents would spank you they would yell "t 'o ba ke," or you would get backhanded just for crying after they hurt you. Remember how when you got a sprain, burn or a cut they would ask (or yell) at you as you were crying and tell you to stop immediately, stressing that it wasn't that bad "o ti le ka ra ju! Nka n ti o to 'nka ni 'wo ma'n ke ra fun!"(foon as opposed to fun for all my yoruba speakers out there).
Well, that idea (principal and fear) have channeled into my real life. I can't remember which of my friends I have cried in front of, and which of my nigerian friends ( no matter how much they hurt) have cried in front of me. One day my sister Jo(Squared) told me that she hasn't seen me cry in years. In fact she said she can't remember the last time I cried. "_______ you are so cold and hard, I don't think you are capable of feeling at all, You and Vixen never cry about anything!"
Let me update you Jo(Squared) I cried today. This morning at 1:06am, I curled up on my couch and cried. Thanks to my girl T for listening to me and encouraging me when I needed it. Why did I cry? Well I felt like it. I have a right to do it, and dammit, I dare someone say otherwise. There is really no shame in crying. I didn't care that it woke Baby up (I am not a beautiful cryer, very loud and very un-pretty with tears and other fluids running everywhich way into my teddy (and yess i still have a teddy)) I didn't care that he had to work the next morning and yet I kept him up as he spent a good two hours holding me and trying to get me to stop. I didn't care if the neighbors heard me. I didn't care! It felt good! I cannot explain how good it felt to cry. And to think it all started over McDonalds! Don't ask! But all I can say is I feel a whole lot cleaner and better.
So if you feel stressed, angry or just plain bored. Clean your eyes, open your lungs and let the tears flow. God didn't invent tear ducts for nothing!
4 comments:
ahhhh, kpele, I hear it's therapeutic, i guess you can testify.
I remember those days, we used to call it "dusting" if a teacher whooped your ass and you didn't cry ;-p. And the people that could dust the most became legends on campus.
The last time I really wept(different from getting teary eyed, and selective memory prevents me from remembering any other time) it was around thanksgiving in 1995, I opened my freezer at my parents, and a 14 pound frozen turkey came rolling out, traveled the length of my height (so it had time to gather momentum), and flattened my left bigtoe. Come and see a grown man cry. I yelled so loud, you'd have thought I had just been shot. Infact I wish I had, cause it kept throbbing all nite, and i ended up in the ER the next day.
Hey Drew, I actually unconsciously curled my toes as I was reading you turkey story, damn that must have hurt.
PJ dearie, shu, the last time I cried hard was actually last night. Wouldn’t it be funny if we were actually balling our eyes out at the same time :P Hopefully sooner or later, I’ll realize only a fool thinks he or she has total control of life :)
aaaw...don't feel bad. we all cry.
i cry especially when i've been misunderstood. and trust me mikeedees can cause great misunderstandings :op i take it from the mikeedees u didn't get to make the iyan and egusi. gurl....u shoulda stuck with the plan....just kidding.
Uncle 'drew, I was that girl that was "hard" who never cried when she got spanked on assembly. Eh! emi ke!
'Kay: hope you felt better after crying. I know I did. It cleanses the soul. Hope whatever it is got worked out!
T: About the egusi and iyan, see what had happened was... key word in the sentence would be slept. I guess we all have to cry at some point just to show and know we still have a little soul or heart left. Thanks for listening yesterday by the way. I know I can always count on you girl!
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