Do You Want a Peice of Me Part II

...So the suspense is killing you isn't it

Well I see a note on my desk and I open to read and basically, my roomy (who is really cool) states that she didn't appreciate my accusations and that people clean in thier own time... "Some of us have to work and we don't have time to be cleaning all day, we have jobs"...What the fuck! Okay I had a job in MD, and I was in school at the same time, but I never spilled juice on the floor and let it stick to the bottom of my shoe...NEVER! Furthermore she let me know that I am anti-social and that my attitude by staying in my room and studying is not pro-roomy type. What the fuck does that have to do with people leaving a mess?

After I running my upset mind around the many ways I could scream out and shout out (my pms is kicking in) I realize that it isn't worth it, the old me would have cussed and screamed and punched and gotten violent, but the new me took a step back and was like... Fuck it! You stay out of my shit, I stay out of yours and life goes on...
anyway, so my amazing fiance and my wonderful causin (my favorite one actually) called me and talked some sense into my head, basically put myself in thier shoes and how they feel, which I did, and understand where they are coming from, which I did. I then went individually to them and asked them what they felt about the note (like a damn psychologist) and the explained my position (in a positive tone) and how I would attempt to be more social and my lack of social-ness (if that is word) has nothing to do with them but everything to do with the fact that I am overwhelmed with work and some other personal stuff, basically like my favorite movie (Godfather I) would be quoted as having the line "it's not personal...it's strictly business)

But on the real though, this is so high school and over blown that by night time we were all working out to my Crunch Salsa Video (around 12 am) and hence the tired me..(I am trying to loose all this wieght I put on in the last four weeks, seriously I went up some sizes...)


Have you seen "Crash"? Well the first line that Donn C. says about the sense of touch is true, it lets us know that we are still alive. The feeling you get from getting emotional lets you know you still have the ability to affect and be felt. Though mine wasn't touching physically but emotionally, i realize (ah the heaven's are opening and angels are singing) that even though I want to be this loner and just be done with this phase of my life, my attitude is affecting those around me and well, needless to say, I plan to atleast attempt (if not perfect) the art of being "freindly" ( I know I am going to hate myself for this...)

Later, daily reader...