Going Back To School. . .

Law School Prep

2008-06-02T11:26:00.003-05:00

Okay for those of you who know me, my biggest dream has been to go to Law school. It is funny though because everyone in my life thinks that now that I am married I should have a goal of starting a family (everyone except hubby).

So I started doing my research for the best law school prep classes to take. I thought there were only two. Kaplan and Princeton, but it turns out there are several. The top four are Testmasters, Blue Print and then Kaplan and Princeton. I chose Blueprint.

I took a timed test with my Kaplan book and came up with a 161 as my score. I am aiming at a 173 so a 161 is good, but I want better and BluePrint I feel with do that for me. I am trying not to be a walking advertisement for them.

In other news, We are officially open for visitors. with me being ill, and Hubby working so hard, we had to take our time unpacking and getting the house set up but now that we are all settled and organized, we are open for visitors. I can't wait to have people over. It get's lonely sitting at home all day.

I joined a gym, and I am part of two book clubs. I also go to the library and now that the weather is better I go to the Park.

So I came up with my list of law schools I am looking at

1. Columbia (as always this was my first choice)
2. University of Michigan (Ann Arbor)
3. Universy of Chicago
4. Norte Dame
5. Fordham
6. Rutgers (Camden)
7. University of Pennsylvania
8. Ave Maria
9. Cornell (Ithaca)
10. NYU

so far that is my list. I plan to apply to as many as I possibly can. I signed up for the LSAC thingy and well now that the boat is on it's way, I can't turn back now. Wish me luck!!!!

Just for the record:
Who gives a shit if Lindsey Lohan is gay or not? I mean we have an election coming up and Hillary Clinton will not quit and all you hear is "is Lindsey Lohan gay?" like seriously america get real!

P.S: Just for the record, I am throwing an election party at my crib, in November. so plan to come people. Pro OBAMA supporters only and please dont' egg my house!

I am BACK

2008-06-02T11:09:00.002-05:00

That's right!
After one full year, I have decided to return to the world that is blogging and continue my rant. So what have I been up to well here goes

JUne
I got a job working for this really small but very interesting insurance company. What started out as the best job after college soon went down hill into the biggest nightmare ever. But in June i didn't know that so here I was just doing my "thing" as we say and typing away, trying to learn the ropes. Two weeks into the month of June (when I just started) one of the girls quit. Leaving only three of us to run an office with over 500 clients.

July
I was mad stressed out. I felt betrayed alot this month and tried my best to keep a happy face. I felt lost and regretted many decisions about the wedding plans that I had made. Most especially going to Nigeria because I found out my biggest supports (sisters) didn't get the necessary clearance by INS to attend my nuptials. I wanted to cancel my wedding and well a lot of friendships were broken because of this. Needless to say my work was becoming even more stressful. I am not going to regale you with tales of who I lost faith in and why but I will tell you that even now I haven't yet spoken my mind...

August
Wedding!!!
O my god! It was the best day of my life! Even though some people tried to ruin it for me, but I brushed thier foolishness aside and focused on enjoying it. I had the ladies in red and the guys in black and I was looking gorgeous. We had a huge turnout like I expected and well I was on a plan the next day back to the states.

September
Was spent at the reception which by the way turned out to be a huge success too! Lots and Lots of great memories and beautiful pictures and just recuperating. I had some issues to sort out with some people and some new business ventures dropped into my lap. After returning from my wedding, my work situation took a heavy loss as one of the best workers was fired. I had to start contemplating new business ventures. We had another bat in our apartment. That was the last straw. Baby and I (now Hubby and I ) had to move

October
Lots of Nigerian partys. I spent the better part of the year traveling from place to pace and visiting various people. We also started planning huge nigerian parties. The sense of betrayal from Nigeria began to grow at this point when I saw the pictures and I sunk into a deep sadness I couldn't shake. I quit my job and started job hunting in my new city

November
The big move from CT to NJ and settling in. Married life is great. I have this really supportive spouse who wanted me to launch my business idea. I have been so hesitant to go back and get certified as an event planner and he kept saying look you need to do this because you are great!!!! God I love him so much! anyway, getting settled, furniture shopping and spending mullah made from dancing at the wedding!!!!

December
Trip to the "rents for Christmas, Trip to Indy for Fusion, Trip to Poconos for so R and R, I think we shall return.

January
Begining a new year!!!! Health problems ( woult go into details) begin to arrive! I am thrust into intense pain, lots of tests and weakness. Hair loss begins. I start taking pills for the pain and keep it a secret.

February.
Visit Bmore, weight gain like crazy (because of pills and health problems) Still am not working but assisted on a project. Surgery scheduled for sometime in March. Nervous but Hubby is supportive.

March
Realized that some friendships are meant to die and fade. Realized that when things get really bad those that love you will care and support you. Resentment and anger from the wedding beginning to disappear into regret. Discovered a gem right under my nose and learned to love and trust again. Operation a success but recuperation and health still failing. Weight gain now 220pounds. Surprised that I finally have stretch marks

April
Begin nutritionist recommended diet and excercise. Still undergoing tests. Doctors unsure of what else to do but give my body time. Still on pills and working out. Weight loss 10 pounds excited

May
Graduations, parties and more! Visit the Pocono's again! We gotta come back!!!! weight loss 30 pounds!!! Yeah total of 30 lost. Doctor's optimistic. Joined a gym, got my NJ driver's liscense. and signed up for Law School Prep. Lost A LOT of friends on the way and that pains me but life must trudge on...

So that is where we are at people

My health is getting back on track which is great. The Dr.'s are still testing so I am being poked and prodded almost every other week. I have the greatest husband in the world and I love him more and more. I found this amazing Nigerian tailor and I have been taking sewing classes with her. I am excited about this new chapter that I am going to begin.

The End of a Chapter the Beginning of a New Day

2007-05-18T07:47:00.000-05:00

So this is the last post on Requiem of College Days.

Why you might ask? Because Poetic Justice is graduating on Sunday. That's right. I managed to graduate with a 3.8 GPA and I am proud of it. Bite me all you haters that said I was to old and couldn't make it. Well guess what I did!!

So you can catch LadyB as she reincarnates to that Poetic person she was meant to be. NO more drama people. I am no moving to brightenmylife.blogspot.com

Laterz and Enjoy your Summer, Year and Life!!

Welcome to the New Me

2007-05-11T20:29:00.000-05:00

I had to take my blog down for a while since I was re-incarnating myself. My other blogs have also been re-done including my poetry blog which is brightenmylife.blogspot.com. Feel free to check that out.

Anyway, what has been happening.

Well So many things! Finally I can work! I got a job offer with an employment benefits company and I was hired into an executive position which I wasn't expecting but because of certian situations, I wasn't sure I could get the job and then boom I got a call, got an offer, negotiated for a better pay and then I got the job. Wow! God is good.

Things seem to falling in place for me and Baby now. I have released all my anger and issues with people and let that be. And of course, despite my professor's angst against me, LadyB is graduating (finally) from college. I was thinking today that at some point a few years ago I thought I would never get out of college but look at me now, I am graduating! Yeah!!!!

In other news, we are all set for the wedding in Nigeria. Yes I tok Wedding Wars down because it was also some negative energy there as well. So anyway, I have officially bought my ticket to Nigeria and I am going home. I haven't been home in over 7 years and to think that I am finally going to get on a plane and go home is overwhelming me.

I am also going to fully dedicate myself to Firerepublic now. I began taking my classes again and should have my liscense and certification by July. So that is exciting.

Baby and I started ordering the crap for the wedding including paper for the program and invites, candles, favors etc. Our house is beginning to get boxes of crap much to his dissatisfaction but my excitement. Life is turning around people and I am excited. Yesterday I actually woke up and smiled. I am not a morning person but I woke up smiling. Yes! I am happy. Welcome to the new me...

Moving Again!!!

2007-04-19T08:52:00.000-05:00

Call me superficial, call me prissy, call me DIVA! Whatever you want to call me.
10 Things I love about my current living environment
1. The fact that I have two fireplaces
2. The size of the master bedroom
3. The office space I set up in the front room
4. The size of my kitchen
5. The plush carpet

And that is where my ten things I love ends at number 5 and even the number five was a stretch. I have convinced Baby that moving is necessary for my sanity.

Why I want to move you may ask, well just look at the top five reasons and lets brake that down.
1. The fact that the two fireplaces don't work and my landlady said that we need to pay for them to work out of our own pocket. What the f#@#

2. The size of the master bedroom is nice but then the shape is not condusive to furniture, but I wasn't upset about that until I decided to get a King Size bed and the delivery man said they have to return it because it can't fit in my room with the odd angle

3. The office space is always cold because there is not heat in the front of the house. My space heater uses up electricity jacking up my electric bill. My landlady isn't even responding or addressing this situation

4.The kitchen is my main beef besides the bathroom. I hate the kitchen. The size is great but I hate the flooring which has yet to be changed and the backsplash which the former tenants decided to put wallpaper on. Instead of removing the wallpaper the scraped some parts of it off and left ithe rest just dangling. It looks like a botched home improvement project. To worsen it, I offered to fix the problem but it will cost more money. There is always a draft in the kitchen hence paying over 300 dollars in heating bills for the last three months. That is 300 dollars I could have used to buy shit for the wedding

5. The bathroom is another heating bill increaser. It is always cold. And I hate the whole shower door thing. I am used to curtains and nice bathroom oasis. Yes I admit I have lived in luxury for a far too long

6. The carpeting is annoying. It is blue but we all know that blue doesn't look so good when people have walked all over it. And even though it is plush...Well let's just say that I spent the better part of my weekend washing the damn carpet with a carpet cleaner. I have finals. I Can't be doing this shit!

7. Oh! and did I mention that you can hear everything that goes on upstairs! from waking up to "sex -a- pades" to the f-ing neighbors dog barking at whatever comes his way. Don't worry I still love animals but I don't need to stay awake all night hearing them when I am supposed to get up at 6:00am. And what about the said animal...my neighbor still feels it necessary to leave his dog poop right underneath my window and on the front stoop near my first floor door. So that when the rain is pouring as it has been for the last few days, I get to trudge mud and fucking dog shit into my car and my home. Which doesn't help the situation of cleaning the carpet ! UGH!

8. Did I mention that the stove in the kitchen is a piece of shit! which she promised to replace and when I called to talk to her about it she said "that isn't my problem" What the f--- do you mean tht that isn't your problem. You are the landlady for god's sake
So after presenting my case and the fact that every day when I wake up I am pissed off at the living conditions and our landlady's continuous promise to fix shit and never doing it. Baby has given in.

I just don't feel that for the amount that I am paying I am getting the service I deserve. And for that I am truly upset. I feel that I should be treated better and be given better service. And I am ashamed to invite people to my home because it doesn't measure up to the standard that I feel it should be.

We are moving in June. Short and simple. I found this apartment complex in Danbury that is newly built. Go figure. So I made an appointment. It isn't Avalon but it works. I made an appointment and I am going to check it out.

I know this is crazy considering the fact that we just moved in November and the fact I have school, a wedding, law school etc to contend with. But seriously, I refuse to start my life with Baby in this hovel. Baby agrees that if we are paying the amount that we are, we should get better service. I second the feeling!

Now on to more important things

Bye Bye Sanjaya!

It's a Lie

2007-04-18T15:10:00.000-05:00

Okay I got this from T's world and I just have to say this is a lie. Far from it!

Your Birthdate: August 16

You're incredibly introverted and introspective. You live inside your head.
You spend a lot of alone time meditating and thinking.
People see you as withdrawn, and at times they are right.
You are caring and deep, but it may be difficult for you to show this side of yourself.

Your strength: Your original approach to thinking

Your weakness: You tend to shy away from others

Your power color: Pale blue

Your power symbol: Wavy line

Your power month: July

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

The Crisis Continues, as People remain ignorant

2007-04-18T12:38:00.000-05:00

This is a continuation of my rant

Why are we so racist?

I am sorry for being so annoyed by the portrayal of the tragedy at Virginia Tech by the Media. First of all the kid was sick but does that mean that every time you come on my screen you have to tell me he was Asian. I mean the same treatment black people get when they commit a crime is simple "A Black male..." "an Asian decent, South Korean ...". How racial divided we are as a culture!

And now the stupidity of the people in my school
So after the news broke of the shooting I was in the computer lab yesterday morning. And we are all reading this horrific detail of the number dead etc. As people are talking about how sad it was etc. this "Asian guy" who just happens to be a quiet person walks into the computer lab and you could have heard a pin drop. I mean people started averting eyes and all conversation ended. Of course I being the one person who didn't get the reasoning was like "Hey W----, what's up?"

He was beat red and mumbled a greeting and walked out of the computer lab and everyone just sat there, ignorant and quiet and staring after him.

Foolishness. it's not like my friend here was the shooter. Unfortunately that is what people see when they see the news. There was a very disturbed person in Virginia Tech, management didn't take the necessary persuasions to safe guard the student population, many people lost their lives and dumb idiots at my school can only think of the quiet Asian kid who doesn't bother anyone and is an A student in my school.

I know this may sound stupid but please! This is exactly what happened after 9/11. We racially profile and put people in corners. I did it in High School with the guy and his Trench coat (Jason T.) and we are doing it again. It is taught to us to put people in groups and profile them. Remember when you were a kid and all you cared about was that you had a friend! You didn't see color until you parents, uncles, aunts etc started harping on the fact that this person was white or this person was black. For many of us it was tribalism. I mean you have igbo friend or look at that person they are ijebu and stingy!

Abeg oh!

Filtered

2007-04-17T09:03:00.000-05:00

I heard this song "broken" yesterday and I got teary. Wow! I have some serious emotional issues going on. I mean I had heard the song before but I didn't know the words until yesterday. And the funny thing is I don't know who sings it so help me out people

The tune is stuck in my head

Another thing that is stuck in my head is Family Guy. The episode where Peter Griffin is high and for some reason he starts touching Stewie's head and says "how you doing that?" Baby has been repeating that line for like a week now and now it is stuck in my head

I need to get seriously filtered!

In other news, what is this country coming too? I remember when I was in High School and the whole Columbine incident happened, I remember walking around and any student with a trenchcoat was suspect. I mean the trenchcoat and long hair deal became your MO to be a killer. And now? Now we are staring at every Asian kid in our school wondering when they are going to pull out a weapon. For those of you who don't get my flow, at Virginia tech some crazy kid let loose and shot up the school.

I keep wondering that many of those kids when they woke up that morning didn't think they would end up dead or with a bullet. It was just another regular day. I take so much in my life for granted. who's to say that some crazy idiot isn't going to shoot up my suburbian school.

Anyway, I think we need to filter out a lot in our society and in our minds. Just pray for those who are not with us anymore and for those who committed the crime, well pray for thier asses too!

You

2007-04-12T11:22:00.000-05:00

Oversexed
Overused
Abused
Over-indulged
Spoiled
Value-less
Depressed
Mirsey-less
Selfish
Selfabsorbed
Concieted
Confused
Controlling
Distorted
Contorted
Vision-less
Flirtateous
Promiscuous
Worthless
Worthy-less
Unforgiving
Uninhibited
Unknowing
Un-caring
Un-feeling
_______________________________________________

In other news I failed my test. For the first time in my life as a student I am so close to actually getting a D as a final grade. I went to my teachers office and cried my eyes out! She said she will see if we can do some extra credit work to move me to a B+ or something.

Good news is that i got an Interview! I am so happy I got three interviews with three companies so I am excited. I am about to do an overhaul of my blog which will probably annoy some of my readers, but I am about to re-invent my blog all over again. Because college days are about to disapper come May, we have to blog something new.

I know I said I would stop blogging but people I am addicted to you!

I can't blog about it

2007-04-11T08:55:00.000-05:00

Okay, I can't blog about what happened because walls have ears so call me. But you have to call before 7:00pm. Seriously people you want to hear what happened

In other news. I am thinking of retiring my blog. I am seriously contemplating it. I really love my template and the people that read my blog but I have begun to think about making Wedding Wars my permanent blog. If you want to be able to view my permenent blog email me at tigereyes_81@yahoo.com.

Laterz

It has happened

2007-04-08T10:48:00.000-05:00

Okay, I just have to blog about this

It has happened oh! The drama with the sister has come out to everyone! I will keep you posted as the pot thickens!

Let it flow

2007-04-06T16:15:00.000-05:00

The year just started and I feel like it should already be over.

Just when I thought I would pop in my mind, you called me.
I was so stressed out last night with school and the whole wedding thing, but then Alyson Monet decided to grace me with her voice over my Jazz Station and she sang Toni Braxton's song "Let it Flow".

The song reminded me why I make decisions. The song reminded me why I am the person that I am. The song reminded me why people are not worth the tears and the drama. The song reminded me why I am still here. In the words of Antwone Fisher "I'm still standing, I'm still strong!" So take that H.R. Management paper that I have to type and Wedding from hell! I am still strong.

By the way it was great to hear your voice. Nice to know that you still care. Still love you! I know you are smart and will make the right choices that is why I have stepped back. I don't care becuase you are smart and we make our destiny.

Just breathe baby girl! Life is just beginning. Wishing you all the best.

In other news, I am going to be off line for a while. I have a lot of school work that I am doing right now and it has me buried in research papers. So don't worry I will be back up and running in May!

Talk to you cats later. Updates will be made to my wedding blog so for the wedding blog readers. I will hit you up about that.

Job Searching

2007-04-05T10:12:00.000-05:00

Wow! The reality that I am about to enter the Corporate world is seriously plaguing me. I mean yesterday I was all dressed up in charcoal shirt and grey slacks and coat ready for job interviews at the Career Fair. The words used to describe me were mostly "motivated" and "people person". The words used to describe my resume were "wow! if you could teach kids you can handle any disgruntled employee". Many of the people at the Career Fair were interested in Sales positions. I wanted something bigger so I started asking intelligent questions like "any positions open in business management or human resource?" "how about your legal department" "does your company have any other locations?" etc. And the response was interesting. This one lady said that they had a HR position for people with 4 years experience but with my academic training and my skills they may be able to overlook that need and hire me. She wrote all over my resume and said she would contact me soon.

Felt really good!

I can't wait to start working again. Of course I know I am going to be bitching about work sooner or later but for now, let me lap in the luxury of needing a job and feeling it come to fruition soon.

So these last few days have been stressful.
I felt a creeping pain working itself in the lower back of my calves and now it has worked it's way all the way up my back and into my neck. My doctor calls it stress. Well I don't blame him for that diagnosis

I have 4 now (no longer 3 thanks to Math class) Senior projects due. No less than 15 pages each. And all falling in the next five weeks. But these projects are researching organizations, case study analysis, data analysis, PowerPoint presentations (no shorter than 20min) etc. Not to mention my Senior Thesis for H.R. This huge paper that is due, so far I have 40 pages and still counting. So the time I thought I would spend with Baby disappeared.

I picked him up, dropped him off at home and headed to the library. And that has been my schedule for the last few days. No time to blog except now. Which by the way is the time I should be in class but I decided to take it an sleep in because tomorrow I am heading to the Library again.

Anyway, school sucks! but I am grateful it is finally happening for me...

2007-04-03T07:48:00.000-05:00

What is wrong with me?

He's Back

2007-04-01T13:44:00.000-05:00

Well technically he gets back tonight at 6:00 so I am going to be very "excited"! Don't call me for another three days people. And don't expect to hear from me either, I will be "attending" to my baby!

God I missed him!

TTYL

Updating Blogs

2007-03-30T18:09:00.000-05:00

I just happened to be cruising the blogosphere for blogs I haven't read in a while and guess who just updated her blog. "Passion" First of all let me say that it isn't right that she doesn't update her blog frequently . I love reading all those stories. And really don't care if they are true or not but just gisting on that blog is cool. You gotta up date your blog for often girl

Anyway anothre thing I realized is that my sister Kafo is a writing genius. Her perspective on the world is ridiculous so I am dedicating this to her. She needs to update her "Dilemma2K8 though because she kind of stopped on Hillary and well we need more stuff

My girl T is updating her blog design and the latest one is like really crazy with neon green. I like it but after a while I had to look away because I felt like I was about to be put in a trance.

Anyway, as you can tell nothing really big is going on in my life right now. Baby comes home in two days which is great! I can't wait.

Little "interesting" things happened this week that makes me wonder if the Devil is out to get me. First of all my lawyer messed up some forms that are VERY important, I had a project due in one class that well lets just say mysteriously "disappeared" off my computer. and I couldn't retrieve it so I spent the better part of Wednesday night rewriting the whole 12 page paper again. Then I had to contend with neighbors who don't know that their dog isn't supposed to pee and poop right in front of my apartment.

WHAT THE HELL!

But I am learning not to stress out about things. I just take it all in stride and then politely ask that they remove the "defecation" once it happens as opposed to me finding it. And guess what? They didn't! got my Nine West shoes caught in a puddle of poop as I was running to the car this morning to avoid the rain. Of course I didn't realize I had stepped in the atrocity until half way through the drive I realized the stench was in my car not outside of it. Sure enough I found the atrocious mess when I got back home.

Then I got a letter today from the school saying that I am 3 credits shy of graduating. Apparently the person who evaluated my transcript for graduation didn't include a class and so I have to take it in the summer but they will allow me to march! I find that to be funny considering that when I went to the Registrar's office in January they told me I was all set. I headed to school to go battle this demon quick.

"oops my bad" was what they should have been saying, at least they apologised profusely and since I had transfered over the limit of transfer credits they applied one of my transfer classes to compensate for that class so that bridge was crossed...

And don't get me started about the wedding crap...

I am beginning to see that the headaches and nightmares are not just that but they are all a part of the enormous stress I allow myself to experience over petty situations. I am beginning to see that I need more than just a vacation, I need help dealing with my drama!

Yes LadyA I know you have been saying it and so have all the rest of my readers but seriously I needed to sort it out myself. Can anyone recommend a therapist?

Getting Used to the Silence

2007-03-27T09:40:00.000-05:00

I think after the initial days of not having anyone around, I am back to my bmore mode. Brings back memories of getting up early going to work at BJA and then heading home. I mean I am really loving it now. I hope I don't get too used to it. I had lunch with the ladies yesterday and then went to my night class. Hung out last night for happy hour and then came home and slept. Woke up late (almost missed class) with the headache that only comes from drinking three ameretto sours and headed to class with a Starbucks Latte Capucino w/soy and extra foam. I feel single except every time I glance down at my left hand i realize why the guys smile then stop. The big ass rock!

Today, I am all dolled up because I have to take pictures for the Sr. Portrait. I am graduating people. The reality sends butterflies into my stomach. After not being in school for over three years I am finally getting one step closer to my dream. Wow, just the thought makes me giddy.

I didn't talk to Baby yesterday. I realize that now as I am typing. Oh Well! Gott dash to my next class. Take care people

Toodles

Baby is MIA

2007-03-26T13:46:00.000-05:00

So baby is gone away for the whole week.

That means I get to turn up the heat, turn up the music and run around the apartment. I get to eat whatever I want or not eat at all if I choose not wondering "what's for dinner?" I get to dress down in sweats and t-shirts cause no one is going to notice or care. I can stay up late and wake up late because I have the car....

I am Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo f-ing lonely. Like the whole house feels so empty. I miss him it is unbelieveavle. I am usually the one who goes away for weeks and months and he doesn't mind. He has been gone for like three days and I am already begging him to come home. He doesn't return until Monday morning. Meaning I am going to be by myself for exactly One week and one and half days (he left on Saturday). And he is in Florida. Which isn't like me going to Baltimore, I mean he is miles and miles away. Damn I can't even take a train or drive down in 4 hours to see him. What the hell

Last night I couldn't sleep. I heard everything my neighbors were doing! Disgusting

Woke up this morning grouchy and I actually missed the fact that he wasn't here to say "Good morning and how are we today?" or the insistant rapping on the door cause I am wasting time on my face!

I have become dependant on him.

What makes it worse is that I have no cell phone so I can't call anyone (including him). But I have the car so I can' drive wherever I want whenever I want. Not that living in this hick town there is anywhere to drive to! In otherwords, the next few days are going to be full of sleep, gym and school work. I will fill my days with work and exhaust myself that way I am not missing him too much.

Somebody CALL ME!

The Man Room Stage !

2007-03-23T09:33:00.000-05:00

First of all let me say congratulations to the new Dr. in our midst! CONGRATULATIONS girl! I am so happy and proud of you. So no real partying can happen until I am there oh! I mean you can do a little but you know that without me the party can't really jump off right? Just kidding! Have a lot of fun and lots of drinks on my behalf and lots of the other stuff....you know....too!

_____________________

So when we moved to our new apartment we dumped all the boxes in the front room. If you walked into our apartment three months ago you would be hit first by the coldest air imagineable and then by the gazillion boxes and broken down furniture in our apartment. Not any more! Thanks to spring break and a very bored LadyB! I attacked that room for three days straight now the bookcases are up and the computer desk is set up in the front now so we can start working on our guest room and patio next week. I am so proud of myself. I put the curtains up and worked really hard.

Baby walked into the apartment and didn't even recognize the front room. He was like "I am feeling the color scheme!" So tonight he is going to set up the computers and tomorrow I get to go shopping for household acessories! Which by the way is one of my favorite things to do. I am getting domesticated people!

After spending my mind thinking on whether or not to perm I have decided to hold off until July to get a perm that way my perm will be professionally done and it will be "fresh" for the wedding. Just post me your email in the comments section if you would like to be able to view it.

Okay I am going to go fix up the rest of my home and sip some of my 1991 Chardonnay from my limited collection of aging wine and toast to my friends success. Have a great day people

To Perm or Not to Perm

2007-03-22T11:24:00.000-05:00

Okay My girl T permmed her hair a while back and she is looking smashing and my sister Vixen has been rocking a perm for about ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...all her life!

So here is my problem. I have my hair natural and my hair has gone through some traumatic stunts with me. Listen closely

1. When I was born I had natural "Dada" or what Yankees here call Dreadlocks. My mother didn't know what to do with my hair because it just locked naturally so I had my hair cut short like a boy

2. Then my mom stuck a perm in my hair. One of those homemade perms broke all my hair and burnt my scalp ridicoulously

3. So mommy decided to do a straightening comb thing every week. The problem with that was that I am a tomboy so I was always either sweating or running around near water and well, that didn't last and my locks always seemed to form at the bottom. Painful sessions of combing out the knots every other day

4. Finally mommy got me a jerry curl. This was in the eighties in America when jerry curls was in. I am talking about "Comming to America: Soul Glo" kind of jerry curl. I thought I was styling. Then she hooked me up with "Wave Neveou". Is this bringing back memories people?

5. So after about three years with this. I had a big Jerry curl afro. I thought I was cool. We went to Nigeria and I attended Mayflower Junior School. Guess what they did to me my first day of school .Cut my damn hair off!

6. So I had to grow my hair back and mommy stuck another perm in my hair.

7. So there I was with a perm and my hair started breaking. I decided to go get a hair cut and start afresh and this barber after I fell asleep shaved my head bald. So for about a month and half I had a bald head like a boy. I was eight and had just started growing boobies! Imagine people's surprise when they realized I wasn't a boy because two little things bounced up and down my chest when i ran.

8. By 9 I was sporting my natural hair again but I was getting it cornrowed and threaded so my hair never locked. I mean the moment i took out braids or whatever, I washed and was back at the hairdressers getting my hair done for 10 Naira all over again. It is funny what 10 Naira could buy when I was 9 versus what it can buy now when I am 20 something...Agba ti'n de oh!

9. Then the drama hit a peak when I went to ISI. Bet you didn't know I went to ISI. But I did! And mommy decided I could maintain my own hair. Bad idea mom. Because I cut, permed, braided, cut, permmed and cut my hair so many times it was ridicoulous

10. By the time I got to ASHS in JSS3 my hair was threatening never to grow. It showed some promise and because as dorms go there is always someone who knows how to perm your hair I got a perm again.

11. SS1 cam around and I decided to cut my hair and perm the cut hair. So I had spikes. This was the first time I had spikes. Then I grew out my hair and had an Anita Baker cut. Remember when everyone rocked the Anita Baker look? God this brings back many memories. Everyone swore they knew how to do the dance in TLC's "Waterfalls?" and Boys II Men was like the best boy band ever. And Tupac was Alive and fighting with Biggie? We all thought we were gangsters. I remember my SSII class was West Coast and the SSI class was East Coast. Damn! Those were good times

12. By SSIII I was on a plane coming to America with a Wet and Wavy weave sewn firmly onto my permed head. So as a Senior in B-Springs I began again to experiment with braids. My girls were all braiders from "MeMe" to the "Ghana Girls" they all had this thing wear they could braid my hair in no time (for free). That was fun

13. So my Sophomore year of college I was still rocking a now raggedy perm due to constant braiding. I cut what was left of the perm off and went natural and continued to get my hair braided. Then my girlfriend who I don't speak to anymore because of her stupid ass husband, came into my life and she got me my first perm in over two years.

12. Moved away to Bmore and started getting my hair professionally done in a Salon curtesy of Vixen and those were good times. We would get our eyebrows, nails and hair done every other week. We were styling. I have some pictures from those days and wow! Those are some pictures. T you were in quit a few of them!

13. Then I cut the perm off and did an S-curl thing and got my hair spiked. By my second year in Bmore I was rocking spikes. We moved to the "hills" and I went back to natural.

I have been natural since... But because of the upcoming nuptuals I have been seriously considering perming my hair. I live close to NY and can afford to get a wash and set every other week from a professional but I fear that my natural hair will soon fall out. It had grown up to 5 inches now. I measured it yesterday after I blew it out with a very hot comb and a hot blow dryer to stretch out the curling bottom. Very painful but very rewarding. So I have my hair in "calabar" walking around the house like a village girl. Baby said to not perm but do braids because that's what he loves but I am seriously considering perming my hair....

My causin has convinced me to wait, but I am tired of seeing beyonce flaunt her cute as weave in "Irreplaceable" music videos. I keep thinking I could pay $80 to the Illegal Immigrants in Harlem and be rocking a weave just as good if my hair weren't natural. And I would look hot in it!

What do you think? It has been 5 years since my hair has been touched by relaxer do you think it is time?

Happy Posts/New Blogg I am Reading

2007-03-21T10:06:00.000-05:00

I have decided to post happy thoughts from now on. It is apparent that some readers find me to be angry and depressed. Funny enough, I don't see myself that way

Okay so I checked out some people who have been posting on my blog to read thier stuff. First off let me say that if I call you a guy and you are a girl (olawumi) I am going to apologise, but htat doesn't mean that your blog sucks! It means that I need to go refill my prescription (glasses.

Here we go:

RJ! Your blog Rocks! I mean I was reading it today and it had a link to this other Blog called Naija Wife but who really cares about Naija Wife when you can listen to the "rantings" of RJ. There are also some deep stuff you guys should check out like the post on "What if" he starts off by asking "What if I was born white to pill popping parents..." That is hot too. In other words Fully enjoy reading the blog and will be reading it from now on. It is being added to my list of Naija Bloggers that Rock! visit RJ @ http://rjuncensored.blogspot.com/ the name of the blog is UNCENSORED.

I have been scouting another reader of mine Lady A because well she has my name except the "A"part my name is LadyB my clothing line (which I have been sketching for the last 4 years is called LadyB (with a lady bug hanging off the B)). Anway, I was trying to figure out if she was a law student or not. Funny how you can find so many similarities with yourself and with others. Her blog is titled "Shine Through (this is my life" and it is pretty interesting. She has two other blogs but this is the one that I read more. Her latest post "binging" is about overeating. I enjoyed reading it because it kind of relates to my struggle only I have a problem with never eating...That is a post for a different day. Anyway check out her blog at http://ladyaspeaks.blogspot.com/

Off to go plan my wedding...Later people!

Moving On..

2007-03-16T12:11:00.000-05:00

Relationships are hard

That being said what do you do when the person you care so much about doesn't even realize that thier actions are disrespectful or in plain view outrightly disconnected from your idea of how you want and should be treated?

Better yet what do you say to someone who you have seen so much love and potential and that person is being used and bruised and scraped on the floor just because they care so much?

I was watching "baby boy" yesterday. Don't ask me why but it was on TV and mid-terms were over so to celebrate i vegetated until 3 am. Anyway I was watching Baby Boy with Tyrese yesterday and the mother in the movie goes "You are going to be used, everyone uses everyone at some point. And a man can make you feel so high that you feel so much joy you could die from ecstacy and a man can also make you feel low, so low that you want to die. And he can keep you there if you let him. .." I think this applies to everyone. At times we as women can make a person feel this way too...

Anyway, why did I bring my story? Well my girl is going through some serious emotional stuff right now with her man and to her I say: Hold your head up girl! When enough is enough...You will know but don't let others tell you to quit. you have to know when to quit yourself.

Funny enough: it is so much easier to give advice to friends but to family...it is so easy to be that person that tells them to quit! Do some situations warrant a slap of reality and some situations require a step back and a supportive role? HELL YEAH...especially when the slap of reality to a person who is stubborn enough to believe that a person hitting you means love and you deserved it! Don't get me started...

It's been four months...I can't seem to move on...I can't seem to get a grip and move on....

Perception...

2007-03-13T09:11:00.000-05:00

I had a conversation with someone yesterday and I have been bothered by some things that the person said. For starters this person has known me for a while so it wasn't like they just sat there and made 'ish up but I just have been bothered by it because I think that in general this is the perception that people might have and if so, then I am I wrong to be defensive about me?

1. I am a very self-absorbed person. I don't think about anyone elses feelings when I have some agenda. All I want is to reach that agenda no matter what the cost even if it damages relationships even if it makes people hurt.

2. I am not understanding of other people's opinions and can be abrasive and a bully to a large extent when I don't get my way

3. I have a distorted view of authority based on my past and view authority as a force I must compete against as opposed to respect. I prejudge that those senior to me will always misuse power and brace myself for that, any indication of such even slightly causes me to go on the war path

4. I am not a free spirit but very rigid in my views on life, love and people.

5. I prejudge people based on my gut instinct and I am not forgiving of past faults.

6. I am not impartial to people but treat some people better than others giving them more chances and allowing them graces while others just get one chance and they are out or done

7. My friends are loyal to me but I treat them like shit bullying them and putting them down sometimes even yelling and cutting them off.

8. I am too emotional and allow everything to be a personal afront on me. This goes back to me being very self absorbed

9. I have some serious issues in my past that are allowing me to treat people in my present the same way.

10. I have trust issues.

Well there was more but this is all that I focused on. In otherwords I am a bitch to my friends and very selfish, diva in my attitude and put people down. I am controlling and manipulating.

After the person was done, I just couldn't believe that anyone who knows me would think this of me. So today is not a good day. Today is a day where I am seriously hurt and thinking...What the FUCK!!!!

The plot thickens

2007-03-12T12:36:00.000-05:00

I bumped into this guy from my club today. Apperently everyone is talking about my "actions". The story goes now that I got up in the guys face and yelled at him and that he was so upset he had to leave or he would have cried.

Then I bumped into another group of guys in the hall and they were like "yoh! B====== why did you make the guy cry yoh! I would hate to cross your path!" What the hell? i didn't make him cry, I didn't get in his face and scream! Rumors Rumor Rumors

In other news, the stalking friend of mine and I spoke and told me that my girl in Canada was the one who called her husband and told her husband that my family and I sat around and bad mouthed her and talked about her.And that my mother was laughing at her and her predicament. And i was laughing with her etc. Oh! and that I was not a true friend because I was her friend for money.

Three reasons why this isn't true
1. During the time that she was going through her drama, me and my canadian friend were not speaking. In fact we hadn't spoken in months
2. When my parents came to America my canadian friend I were still not speaking.
3. Why would my canadian friend be talking to your husband knowing fully well that you and her don't get along?

So I sat back and asked myself why would he lie to her?
Well it was was like a light bulb in my head. Because she knows that me and the girl in Canada could be close so she is the most likely person I would call that the wifey wouldn't call. Then it all came into my mind. And for a split second I almost lost my control especially when she said that i was her friend for money.

I smiled in my head because my Canadian friend had warned me before that she had said that about me and my family. And to be honest I really didn't want to believe that she could say that. I mean I became her friend long before money was even given. And whatever money was given wasn't given because I asked it was given because it was given as a gift. I never asked for it! I was a friend because I was a freind.

Many of my friends are well-to-do, I don't beg or ask for money I make my own. I work hard and make my own! So all I told her was that we were friends long before and after money was given. And in addition, the things I did for you and the way I supported you even when people disrespected you went beyond money. I have taken my experience with you as a lesson on how far not to go with people and learned the hard way.

I mean the conversation could have continued but I am exhuasted just thinking about it.

So she bumped into my mother in Nigeria and my mom said she was really excited about my wedding and that she is coming it the States with some stuff and information for me. Mmmmmmm! Once again my mother is doing the Christian thing and once again I am being a bitch. I don't want to get sucked into the vacumm of caring and loving a person only to get hurt. I am done with that. So in memory of all the drama that being a true friend has cost me. I dedicate this to all the girls I have been friends with and I just want you to know that I am not ready "To MAKE NICE"

---------

Here I am again...

2007-03-08T09:37:00.000-05:00

Despite the fact that I have been swamped with work and school I have managed to read some blogs in the last few days. And then to my surprise I stop by my own blog to see if anyone is "vibing" and who do I find back from the grave of no bloggin? CHRISTIN.

Now you may remember her from her previous blog "Why I hate my husband" Well after she reached her reason #100 she disappeared and I always wondered if she would ever come back? Well she did and boy am I glad, blogosphere was missing her real quick wit and charm. Welcome back girl!

In other news what is going on with my life?

Well baby was sick and then I got the chills right after my great weekend with the girls which by the way I can't even begin to go into. I still need to upload the pictures but with being sick and all the tests in school I had this week, I don't know if I am up to the challenge. Anyway, I feel a lot better now.

So I got into a verbal battle at the Management club meeting. Let me preface by saying that I am not an angry person, I don't recommend that people act foolish around me because I will put you in your place but I am not an angry person.

Okay so this semester there is this guy in our club that I will call Idiot. Now Idiot has been a member since last year when he defected from his Finance club to join our club because he felt that the Finance club president was "A bitch" . Those were his exact words. Anyway, he ran for Vice-President and lost by all the votes. The only person who voted for him was himself. The Vice-President who I will call Shy-girl is very laid back.

So the two meetings ago Idiot came in with his palm pilot and started rambling on and on about how he has contacts all over NY stock exchange and Bloomberg and how he can get us an tour to go visit these places. He rattles off a whole bunch of other names and numbers of contacts and interupts the president like twenty times. He cut me off a bunch of times to which I was really pissed but didn't say anything.

After the meeting I told the President that as the Provost and Secretary of the club that I really do not appreciate this "defector" and how he belittles others. The President said we should just let it go. So the next meeting he kept saying stuff like " I have to go so what else is there that we need to talk about" and so on. Just rushing us through our meeting and making things very disorderly. I got realy mad but didn't say anything

Now to the latest events for which I am happy but irritated with myself.

Yesterday we had a meeting and I am irritable because I am coming off of the flu. The President couldn't make it but I could and so could the VP and Treasurer. I was late because I had to come from the other campus to the Business campus in order to make the meeting. So the meeting had already started. We were discussing the presentation for the Dean of the School fo Business that we were going to have on April 18th

Advisor: Why haven't we gotten the plaque
Shy-girl: Well the President was in charge but I will take over..
IDIOT: you have too much to do, so who wants to get the plaque raise your hand if you want to get the plaque

Me: Uhm...the president is in charge if the president
Idiot: The president didn't get it and so someone should volunteer. Obviously he doesn't have time

Me: it's not becuase of time its because of
Idiot: Well he didn't get it so who wants to get the plaque

Me (getting irritated because idiot keeps inturrupting me again): The vice-president was speaking and she said she would
Idiot: Look she has too much to do so someone should just nominate themselves to get the plaque

Me: DUDE! STOP INTURRUPTING ME!
IDIOT: Ohhhhh! Someone is getting angry

Me: Let people land! The VP said she would assist the President in getting it done
IDIOT: Well let her say it she didn't say it

Me: She would if you would stop Interrupting everyone. (then i turn to the advisor) Please continue sir.

After about ten minutes the guy gets up and leaves.

Okay that may not have seemed to warrant me shouting at him but you have to understand, I have the PMS thing going and I am just getting off my flu meds and I was irritable, plus the guy is an asshole. After he left I nominated that we elect a meeting monitor to ensure that the meeting is in order, that people follow the protocol and allow others to speak and that things run smoothly. It was carried by all. Of course he wasn't there to vote but I sure would have put the motion on the floor if he had been there.

First of all you little shit! you are a sophomore and you are nothing to me. I don't care if your father is a director at Bloomberg and you decide tomorrow that you want to be his asskisser. I don't care what the fuck you do at school and how the hell you do it. I don't care that you have an office and work for the school with your stupid poofy hair! I don't give a shit. So while you continue to live in lala land I will move on you stupid peice of crap! and let me further tell you that if you so much as inturrupt me again, I am slapping the shit out of you with my tongue. CAPRENDE?

Ode osi!

That is my life as a Sr. What's going on with you guys?

Something to Brighten your Day

2007-03-05T01:54:00.000-05:00

I had a great weekend. Thanks Vixen for getting me D and T's numbers. I was stuck in No-Man's land and would have been if I hadn't gotten those numbers.

So I hung out with my girls this past weekend. It was a blast can't wait for my bachelorette (yeah I don't know how to spell it so bite me!)
Anyway, I wasn't home on Sat. but apparently I made YouTube and I didn't even know it. D and T did you know that we were on YouTube. Here it is, your moment of zen! Enjoy my only YouTube moment. I was thinking is it wrong for me to report this person since they didn't get my permission, could I claim I have been exploited?

Let me know, there are two of them.

The first one this guy starts talking and then we come out so take your time. I laughed my ass off!

The second one is just a clip of the dance that I liked the most

I keep thinking what were we thinking? Little did we know Toluolumide would exploit us like this ! Haba!
I don't care what you say, I know how to shake my ass!

An Open Letter to You

2007-02-27T18:43:00.000-05:00

Dearest -----:

I love you!

Not in the sappy way that a girl loves a guy or that you tell your best girlfriend how you feel. But in the way that only the blood that runs through your veins and mine can convey. I see you in my face, I see you in my actions, I miss your voice and the laughter. I miss the tears and the triumphs. I miss not calling you to tell you my frustrations. I miss not being able to let you know that even though life sucks right now, I am here for you.

I miss the relationship and I know because of the time lost that we will perhaps never get that back. I still cry, I still hurt, I still want to kill him, nothing has changed and because of that I keep you away.

Forgiveness isn't my problem, fear is. Fear that my voice hasn't been heard and my feelings acknowledged, fear that you will continue to gauge your life based on mine and that I have controlled and pushed you to what I want you to be and that you will never measure up, fear that you cannot help yourself and cannot help the fact that you are selfish, fear that you will continue to hurt me and that I am going to continue to take whatever you dish out like an orphan asking for more.

Who asks for more pain and heartbreak?

Your name comes up in everything I do and say. I reference the moments spent and the time past. You are like a drug that even rehabilitation cannot help me. I still seek your poison to curse through my veins. How can you ask me to be in your life and yet remain detached? Not speak my mind? I would be just as bad as every other person who saw love drowning and didn't throw out a lifeline

Where was he when you were in the hospital, where was he when all we had was medical bills, unemployment and an apartment full of mice? Where was he when that jerk came and left your life in such a cruel way, where was he when others used and took advantage of your innocence and purity? Where was he when you were clinging to life and your blood was being put through a machine and all you were was hesitant breath after hesitant breathe? Did he comfort you when you almost drowned in depression? Did he run to your aid when your mind and spirit lay broken in anger at God, life and even your family? Can he say he honestly held your heart in his when you lost your job and all hope seemed to go down the drain, flushed away by bureaucracy?

As you begin to pick up the pieces that have fallen, as you begin to make headway I stand in the shadows knowing I can never be a part of you the way I once was, that is the part that will forever break my heart.

I love you and miss you but I know I have lost you...

Life I guess goes on! We pick up our losses and move on. Our vase of childhood love and innocence is forever shattered and it's pieces like ash, I cast now to the wind.

Forever yours,
Poetic Justice

Here I am

2007-02-26T22:27:00.000-05:00

That is just wrong!

I disapper for a few days and no one even cares. Now I see how much love I get. Well what is going on in my little world? I finally spoke to her. I mean I might as well speak and get this out of the way. I wasn't avoiding her but honestly she wasn't number 1 on my priority list coupled with the exams and wedding and family issues i wasn't really ready to open a door that had been shut. Well here is what the conversation produced

1. That I should not worry about the past because I am clean. He lied! Short and simple. I mean he mentioned that B.F. was the one that had told him that I had blabbered thier business to everyone in my family. Funny enough I don't talk to B.F. and I wasn't speaking to her at the time. In fact the first time in almost three years that B.F. and I had spoken was December when I went up to see Vixen. So it was a lie. He made it up to make me look bad again. I feel maybe he called B.F. himself and then to get himself out of trouble he said I had called her. Funny enough she and B.F. weren't friends so the fact that he was speaking to her is just baffling. But i really don't care.

2. I was accused of being friends for money. Anyone who knows me knows that I am not a gold digger. I make my own way. I have always struggled and survived. Funny enough, I hated her when we first met and it took years to develop a relationship. Unlike him, I didn't need her father's money to survive. Unlike him money wasn't my motivation. I liked and cared about her because I felt she genuinely cared about me. I felt that our friendship was based on trust and honesty. People point out flaws for you that they are scared to admit for themselves

3. I am so over them. I mean even when speaking I didn't really care what went down. I said my peice, didn't get angry or upset. Maybe I have matured, I don't know...Whatever it was just this immense peace came over me that when old wounds were open, they didn't bleed. I mean seriously! I wasn't upset and I found some humor in it.

4. There is closure to that part of my life. I still love her but I realize that now after such a long seperation, that things aren't the way they used to be. I will always love her but life goes on and well...maybe it's best to let the door stay closed and communicate through the window.

I am a Christian and have forgiven and am done with that chapter of my life. It was funny but things that usually upset me and get my riled up and angry didn't do that.

In other news, I am officially pissed off at the weather man. Okay so school was closed today and i thought it would be closed for the whole day but I was wrong. School was open tonight and I had a flipping test which I totaly bombed because I didn't study. Well I am about to bomb another presentation tomorrow if the weather man doesn't call for snow!

I feel like this whole semester I have been playing catch up! Graduation is coming soon. Thank God!

My girls are coming from bmore this weekend and I am pissed because I got a notice from the Lawyer and others that I have to be in court on Saturday from 3:00 and to worsen the situation, I don't know how long this $ish is going to take. If they had made my appointment in NY that woudl have been better but nope! They took me upstate New York! WTF!~

But I am still hoping to make it to the clubbing that night if I can catch a train in time and meet up with them.

Well that is it for now

For those who are wondering after four days of puking and liquids Baby is doing fine. He had a stomach flu and for the first time I was allowed to be a nurse to him. That was interesting. I dont' like it when he is sick because it brough back memories of Vixen and hospitals. Especially when we were in the E.R. God!

Anyway, he is better now so I am smiling!

I should have been a nurse. I mean with all the body liquids that I have had to take care of between my family and friends. Wow! Chicken soup anyone?

Sick, Sick, Baby

2007-02-22T14:16:00.000-05:00

Baby is sick!

I mean not sick in the head but he has the flu. I have been baby-ing him none stop with medicine and chicken soup. I am such a good nurse!

Just taking care of him makes me happy. I mean I am sad he is sick but I am happy to be his nurse. Of course he is cuter with his blanket wrapped around him and those puppy eyes. Poor Baby!

So if I am MIA from here for a while it's because i am
1. Nursing my baby back to health
2. Studying hard for mid-terms
3. Just plain lazy!

P.S: That girl is still stalking my sister. SO i finally called yesterday and i told her (voicemail) I was busy and hope everything is okay and that I got all the messages. Course I didn't call with my phone (since it's stupid head only works when I am charging it in the car) but i called her.

Had some nightmares about stuff will tell you in my next post. They were pretty funny but wierd as well

You have unleashed the Bitch!

2007-02-20T10:57:00.000-05:00

For the last three years I have kept silent and even though I told you how I felt you thought it was a game. But now you have unleashed the bitch and I am not having this shit anymore!

The funny thing is when you are the one being persecuted everyone just turns the other way and says stupid shit like "Oh that is how she is..." or "Oh I am sorry, but I will get around to talking to her" or "We must learn to accept and be willing to forgive" and stupid shit like that but once you turn the tables and just totally shun that person or act like you don't give a damn then everyone turns around and blames you for all the drama

For starters, when we first met you treated me like I wasn't worth your time! You really talke bad to my face and said somethings that were not polite and nice for someone who was just meeting you and I took it because I didn't want to embarass ---- or disgrace my family name but I am NOT taking it anymore.

I think the stress of school and the drama with my own family and the stress of getting my wedding and my girls wedding together has taken a toll on my ability to be rational and not act like I dont' give a fuck anymore! I think I have reached a boiling point and there is no one that can calm my ass down.

This weekend started off great! I was going to spend the better part of my days at home curled up with Baby under the sheets watching re-runs of CSI:MIAMI and Greys Anatomy on U.S. and A&E but is that what happened? No, instead I found myself pissed off and fighting for my breath under this sea of rage that is brewing. I need anger management!

Even after we talked it is perfectly clear that I am not calm and I am never going to be okay. In fact I have made up my mind
1. I am never going back there again. You couldn't drag me there! I said I wasn't going for Christmas and new Year and I didn't! Now I am saying it loud and clear. Fo my sanity and so that my father's name will not be dragged in the mud I am NEVER GOING BACK THERE AGAIN!

2. If you so much as come into my space and fornicate it with anything (your breath, you negative energy or even your phony care) You will see my true colors. If any of you ever so much as breath my air and breath anything negative I am done

3. IF ANY MOTHER FUCKER even thinks that they can come and destroy my relationship and try and damage what I spent tears and time building for the last FIVE FUCKING YEARS OF MY LIFE! They better think again! I am not playing

This is not a fucking game! People think that because I am quiet and don't say anything that when you disrespect me I take it, when you disrespect my father I allowed it (that was my bad) when you say what you want and I just smile that I am a fool. I am NOT A FOOL! I am trying to be nice. But I am DONE

I feel like I have been saying that word so many times the last few months. If i tell you I am DONE! that fuck it! I am DONE! and I told you I was done but you decided to drag me over there and I went, I should have sat at home, I should have eaten my apple pie and drank my little juice at home! I NEVER SHOULD HAVE LEFT MY FUCKING BED!

The nerve

Anyway in other news:
I wrote a blog last year April about a girl that I was freinds with and her husband was psycho, apparently I cut her out of my life because as Nigerians go, he wanted to create havoc in my life and I wasn't having his stress, well guess who emerged into my life again.
I find if funny that everytime I start to mend fences with B.F. this girl just comes barrelling back into my life. Even though B.F. and I are back on track I am never going to open the door for this girl again. I mean I spent a whole six months wishing I hadn't made my choice but I am so done with that. She called my sister three times in the last two days demanding "rudely" that Monika give her number to me like I am going to pick up my phone and call you.

Like my life and the people in it are not giving me enough drama I am going to add you and your crazy husband to the mix! What the fuck is wrong with people, this is supposed to be my DRAMA free year!

I am exhuasted and my week just started!

Well that was my weekend...How was yours?

Brian is Back!

2007-02-16T13:20:00.000-05:00

Okay I was watching Jimmy Kimmel Live last night (Don't ask!)
And he just happened to have my baby daddy on as his guest artist. Imagine, lying in bed with a nice warm cup of "Sleepy Time" tea and Brian live on T.V.

What Brian am I talking about? Well ladies, none other than Brian McKnight! I love his voice. I have always been a fan of his and so you can imagine my joy at listening to him last night. I thought about blogging about him the moment I heard him sing. I was like "I am going to beat Vixen to blogging about Brian! I am going to beat B.F. to talking about Brian's new album"

So I ran out this morning to go get his album at the mall but trust my little town doesn't have it yet! What the hell. That is why I love iTunes! So take that you small town mall

Speaking of malls my store has been "Coming Soon" to my mall since last year July! Wonder when they will finally arrive.

Anyway, Thank you YouTube for having everything because I just have the song here, the words are crazy sexy!

Anyway I have to run and clean the house for the Sabbath so enjoy your weekend and don't cry, I will be back tomorrow with some other drama or another.

Oldies Stuck in my Head

2007-02-15T09:35:00.000-05:00

I don't know if you know the song that goes like this
"What is love, baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me no more..."
I mean for some reason this song keeps playing over and over and over in my brain. I don't know if I can take it. Like last night I must have heard it at some poitn because today when I woke up all I could think about was "baby don't hurt me no more!"
What the hell?

In other news I am posting here because not everyone reads my wedding blog, so I need help. I had a psycho caterer who I had to get rid of and I can't seem to find another one in this area. So if you know any really good Nigerian caterer in the New Jersey, New York, Connecticut area please give me a shout! I have been researching and asking around and no one seems to know or can seem to locate one so anyway, post the number on my message board.

Okay I have nothing really solid to say because my phone isn't working and well you know it is snowing outside which never makes me feel happy in the morning anyway.

Laterz

Just another Poem

2007-02-14T11:19:00.000-05:00

Because it is a snow day and I am absolutely jobless, I was just going through some poetry that I had from like two years ago. Just cleaning house and I came across this one. I don't think it is a poem as much as it is more of a way to vent out the way I felt about a particular person.

I bumped into him the other day at a Nigerian affair and when I saw him all I felt was pity. I mean seriously after all the drama and strife he brought to my life I am so glad I am not the one he choose to be his wife.

Enjoy!

Oops!
Let me take a breath and calm my beating heart
I am about to loose that grip on reality
The grip that makes me not slap the shit out of people
When they come into my space and try and fornicate it
With thier saliva and words
Don't even try placate me and talke softly
I am not the woman you lie with at home
Or should I say lie to at home
I am not your little mistress you keep on the side

Oops! I thought you said that was a lie
Are you afraid that I will tell her your dirty little plans
Using people for money just to get ahead you actor
You are better than Denzel, how can you live with yourself
And then your once again try to shame me
Drag my name in the mud
You must think I am your dog that I will role over
So here I go, I will role over and fart right in your face

Oops! again did you think you could come and fuck me
The way you fuck away any common sense in my friends brain
Sorry you old dog!
That's right, you are an old dog
And with your old self its a pity she cannot see because of lust
I doubt there really is love
Convince yourself and it shall be so doesn't make it so
Keep decieving yourselves
I am done with you and I am done playing possum
Good bye, I wash my hands,
Even I have my limits
I am no saint, but at the same time, niether are you
So good bye, I am done with the lot of you!

Snow Day!

2007-02-14T10:55:00.000-05:00

First of all let me say a big "Happy Valentines Day" to you all.

Not that I am really big on the day that America has chosen yet again to exploit its citizenry and make them spend money on over priced flowers (that will die in a few days) and gifts, but I really do love the fact that some of you come back again and again to read my blog.

That being said, not I don't have candy or flowers for you! If love isn't enough then...Bite me!

Enough mushy stuff...

It is a snow day. And as with every snow day or day in my life there is always some drama or saga going on. So yesterday I told Baby that we would have a snow day today. Of course Baby woke me up at the usual time this morning saying "Your school doesn't have an announcement so there isn't a snow day so you have to get up because I am leaving in thirty minutes" Now that pissed me off. First because I didn't edit my paper for class yesterday night that was due this morning and secondly he didn't put the coffee on so I didn't wake up on the right side of th bed and lastly and most importantly "Where the hell is my good morning kiss!?!"

Anyway, I got dressed and one of my girls called to say she was going in late and would swing by and pick me up if I wanted a ride. Of course I wanted a ride! So I let baby leave me behind today and just when she was about pulling into the driveway she calls and says "I just heard on the radio that school is cancelled"

What the hell!

I hate it when this happens, I already took a shower and got dressed and everything and then you call in a snow day. I could have been curled up under the sheets watching Regis and Kelly or "Garden State" instead I am standing outside the door of my house.

So to make myself feel better, my girl and I went and had breakfast at a local diner and then took pictures in the snow. Nothing like a snow day photo shoot!

Anyway, thought I would let you know that while you working people are going to be trudging the hills to work and I will be going back under my sheets to catch up on some much needed R&R.

Don't be hating!

Grammy Awards

2007-02-11T00:27:00.000-05:00

The Grammy Awards are tomorrow and I can honestly say it has been awhile since I sat down and watched the entire thing. I was talking with Kafo the other day and she mentioned that she wouldn't even waste her time. Come to think of it the only reason I watch any of those shows is to yell at the monitor when my favorite artist wins. And since this year I am only rooting for one artist there is no point wasting all 3 hours glued to the T.V. set when I have boxes still piled up in the living area from our move and homework piling on my desk.

So here I am asking those who will catch the shows help me yell at the T.V. when my girl Imogen wins. In case you are wondering who Imogen is (besides Wikipedia and Google-ing her name) she is the female vocals of the band Frou Frou.

Yes here is that name again.

I am obsessed with Frou Frou. Unfrotunately they only made one album and don't plan to ever reunite to make another one since that album was just that. Every single show samples them from CSI:Miami and NY to movies like Garden State and Closer. I mean Imogen has been writing music for stars like Seal and Madonna for a while and she has put out two C.D.'s prior to this however, she is finally getting recognized as a "New Artist" and she up against Chris Brown who believe you me, I dont' want him to win. I mean Imogen and Chris Brown are like gold and rotten tomatoes. They don't deserve to be in the same category. Chris is a 2006 version of Usher. In five years from now he will re-invent himself to sound just like Usher does now. Been there done that !

Imogen is so Indie with a mix of techno. Yes I said the word Techno. Bite me. Here are some samples of her work:

The title soundtrack to the movie "Garden State" was Frou Frou's "Let Go" here is a sample of it:

Finally, to cap off this music blog I dedicate the song "Hallelujah" to how I feel right now! I mean this girls voice (name is Alison Crowe) has such a crisp Indie sound it is ridiculous. This is the way I am training myself to sound (but with a naija flare) when I play my guitar.

Anyway, I am not as sick as I was yesterday and I got my first photo session pictures back so I am sitting here scanning them, hoping to get our website up and running by this week.

Enjoy your Sunday and call me if Imogen wins, I shall be buried under papers and books finish projects and organizing bookcases.

I am officially Sick

2007-02-09T12:16:00.000-05:00

First of all let me apologise formally to Mr. Olawunmi! I read your blog and you are really deep but becaues of typo and my psychi i made a serious error. That doesn't mean people shouldn't check out the blog though! It is relaly cool

I caught that nasty bug that has been going around my campus this week. I thought I was immune but I didn't realize that I was and now I have a serious sickness so don't come around me. I feel sorry for Baby because I have been coughing non-stop and that is ridiculous. I have a sore throat and really bad headaches and I think I am about ready to just die from dehydration even though i have been drinking water and juice like my life depended on it!

So if you don't hear from me for a few days know that I am a very sick person right now...

Pray for me!

New Blogger I am reading...

2007-02-07T18:56:00.000-05:00

Decided to do to postings today.
Okay so there is this blog I have been reading and have decided to add to my list of cool Nigerian blogs. Her blog is called "Silent Storms in Oceans" and her blogger name is Olawunmi, she has some really deep stuff on her blog. So check it out at "http://olawunmi.blogspot.com/"

In honor of her blog I have decided to do todays Tag (sorry Tope)

1. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? "Dirty" colored jeans, Knee high snow boots (ugs style) Aero-Hoodie and knit cap

2.UNDERWEAR ARE YOU WEARING? I always wear boy shorts! Ashiri Victoria and Aero

3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? "Good to be Alive" Frou Frou on my 'Pod

4. CAN YOU JUGGLE? Used to Juggle men now I juggle emotions!

5. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Fruit Salad this morning

6. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE? Black because underneath all that mysterious darkness is solidity that can't be defined. Endless deep color. all colors combine to be black!

7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW? Cold and windy. Hate where I live! damn ice and snow

8. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Baby!

9. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? always thier eyes and lips! I mean beautiful eyes and easy smiles win my heart and your words and dedication win my soul.

10. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS? I stole it from Olawunmi's site and I love the way she writes

11. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? No because I find myself controlling. And yes because I am the most loyal and dedicated friend you will ever have

12. HOW ARE YOU TODAY? Juggling emotions!

13. FAVOURITE DRINK? Used to be Long Island Ice-Teas but now it is Ameretto Straight! Hit me!

14. FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? Oh! i alreayd said that (read my answer for #13).

15. FAVOURITE LUNCH MEAL? rice and stew

16. FAVOURITE SPORTS? (do you have a minute?) F1 & football. Sex. Sex. Sex. Chilling in front of the TV watching any sports broadcast while having sex. Basketball, tennis, NFL sports.

17. HAIR COLOUR? was red now it is black. who knows I might make it green like my boots

18. EYE COLOUR? black but shoots darts of brown when I am angry.

19. TATTOOS OR PIERCING?both. Nose and belly button and tongue.(all closed up now, thank god!) Oh! and as for tats...

20. STAR SIGN? Libra (wish I wasn't though cause I dont' feel like a libra)

21. FAVORITE HOLIDAY: Thanksgiving because for one whole day I get to eat and stuff myself with only my family. no one elses. Just my sisters, the family and I. LOVE IT!

22. FAVOURITE MONTH? December because the new year is just around the corner.

23. FAVORITE SEASON? Fall! There is so much beauty in death it warms my heart. Not to cold and not to Hot.

24. FAVOURITE FOOD? don't like food but if I have to say one I would say my mom's zuccini squares.

25. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? don't remember, haven't seen one is a while

26. POPCORN OR PEANUTS? Who eats peanuts at a movie?

27. FAVOURITE DAY OF THE YEAR? well it used to be september 21st after this year it is going to change to August 19...guess why?

28. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT? Nope! been there and done that.

29. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS BETTER? SCary because sometimes happy can be sappy!

30. SUMMER OR WINTER? If I must then I will say summer. Winter is an American thing and I grew up in a land with no snow. Can't wait to go back there.

31. HUGS OR KISSES? Huge hugs from Baby. He is always warm and smells really good. But then his kisses taste good too... this one is tough!

32. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS? Relationship.

33. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? Vanilla but I love my chocolate color though!

34. DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO WRITE BACK? they'd better.

35. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? tope because she actually takes me seriously and Vixen and Kafo because like me they are jobless and have time on thier hands.

36. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Kafo because she thinks too much of herself (wink wink)

37. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING NOW? Tess Gerritsen, John Grisham and T.D. Jakes (don't worry about the titles. I just got them from the Libarary so I am not sure what the titles are myself)

38. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Tweety!

39. FAVOURITE BOARD GAME? Hate games!

40. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT? worked on a paper and my wedding. went to bed at 4:00am

41. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? "it's morning already, damn! I mean thank you God for another day and for my family and Baby and for my real friends and for my enemies...etc"

42. WHICH DO YOU BELIEVE, EVOLUTION OR CREATION? I believe that I was created. I believe that there are spirits out there that war against man kind. I believe that my life is not an accident and I will continue to live in my bubble that I didn't just appear here for no reason. I like to be disillusioned to believe that I have a purpose and my life would have made an impact even after I am gone. I will not impose my beliefs on you but that is what I believe.

Who do I tage? Guess what? if you really want to go ahead and do it but since it is long and I actually took it from someone and wasn't tagged I a m not going to require you to follow suit.

Later peoples!

Eyes

2007-02-07T18:35:00.000-05:00

Speaking to me from the other side of the subway

I read the sorrow that belies who you are

The wrinkles at your corners tell me

Life has been hard

Yet you glance at the infant in your arms

And smile

I see what others don't see

I see strength beneath the layers of fatigue

You have overcome another day and live to fight

Another day

I see that and I smile in my heart

Knowing that you will pass on this spirit to your young

Knowing hope is not lost

Your eyes have given me confidence to take on another day... (Poem written in 2004)

_____________________________________________________

What is going on in the world people? I feel so disconnected from everything because of where I live so I rely on you for updates. Feel free to update your blogs. I live vicariously through you! My sister Vixen got published in the February edition of Essence and even though the drama is not settled I still went out and bought ten copies and handed them out to friends on campus just so that the sales could be affected in my little village and she can get recognition. If only she would be focused enough to finish some of the damn books she has started that a really good.

Some people don't know how valuable and talented they are...

In other news. I am swamped down with homework. I have taken on the leadership role in all my groups at school because I realize that if I don't do that, people will just do their standard of work and then i will get a grade that is not quality. That is what happened last semester and now I am stuck with an F-ing B+ which by the way has ruined any chance of me getting a 4.0 GPA to graduate.

I had a conversation with my mother which went like this:

Mom: Are you still breaking out?

Me: No

Mom: Well stop breaking out because we were all worried that you are too stressed. How many classes do you have this semester

Me: Seven as always

Mom: so then what is stressing you if it is just seven classes.

Me: Wedding and the drama with -----

Mom: Then stop having drama and focus on school.

Me: Yes Mommy

Mom: In fact, don't think! Just study...

Gotta love your mother putting life in plain view. "Don't think just study!". Well Mommy dearest I kind of need to think to be able to comprehend what I am studying.

I had posted previously that I was going to start collecting wine from the 1990s to present for future wine and cheese parties well... I found a 1995 bottle of Chardonnay and was really excited. I bid on it and won so it is going to arrive tomorrow. I can't wait. I have to buy a wine rack again cause the first one I had is full (25 bottles) so Baby and I are shopping for kitchen Islands with wine rack compartments. I like the one at Ikea.

I started working out in school everyday (1 & 1/2 hours cardio and 30min weights) and I am on a strict vegan diet. I have to fit that size 6 wedding gown. I refuse to have flab on my wedding day. So from now on I will be including weekly updates on the blog for inches and pounds lost. Who knows next time you see me I will running around in a bikini!

Okay that is all folks. I have your blogs to read.

Foolishness!

2007-02-06T10:53:00.000-05:00

These are some random things that I have been thinking about that whenever I see it it just annoys the hell out of me. This is what happens when you are my age and trying to complete a BA and surrounded by little children. IMMATURITY upon Foolishness!

1. People that use bluetooth: Okay I know you have this bluetooth device that has been around for a while but must you now wear it in class. Take the damn thing off your ear! And secondly if you are not on the phone why are you wearing it. And in class no less. So that we can notice that you bought a phone that is Bluetooth accessible. Idiot! Most phones are bluetooth acessible. So you are not that unique

2. People who feel that the thong showing is not out of style: Okay seriously that was so 1999. Get a life girls. Showing your underwear to us (me a girl no less) is disgusting. You are just as bad as the boys who walk around town with thier pants hanging so low you wonder why they wear pants at all

3. Leggins on big girls: Okay now this is a serious error. I am not that big but I wouldn't wear a leggings. It is from the 80s and not everyone can pull of that style!. So please for the sake of everyone that is decent out there do us a favor and pls put a pair of jeans on. We don't need to see you in a mini skirt and leggings. It is a fad! Please shop at Ashley Stewart for clothes that are stylish for your body

4. Wearing mini-skirts in the middle of winter with -11 degree temperature! This is self explanitaroy and then you come to class and start sneezing and coughing. everyone else says bless you but I don't! Why because nobody begged you to wear a mini skirt and small jean jacket to school with snow and sleet outside. Awon ode! Just don't pass your stupid germs to me

5. Not studying and then copying off of me: do your own homework or shut up!

6. Talking on your cell phone in the Library: I mean it is a library. There are posters all over that say please turn off your phone. So for all our sakes and for the smarts that I hope you have a little bit off. Shut up! Turn that phone off and take that damn bluetooth thing off yoru ear

7. Chewing gum loudly in class during presentations: Smacking your mouth like a hooker is bad enough but when I am presenting and you are in my group, do us all a sake and take the gum out of your damn mouth. Then afterwards you can pop a new one into your mouth and keep chewing the cod like the goat that you are

8. Perfume as an air freshner: We are all wearing perfum but must you splash it on like you are going to purify the air. And if you must do that at least eliminate all fruitiness out of it. Seriously. The whole room smelling like "mango sugar" from Bath and Body works isn't really helpin my allergies

9. Not taking a bath: Why are you in college? why are you not at home or in primary school? I am sure if you were at home mommy could help you bath but since you are in college, clip your nails, take a shower and if you choose not to at least sit far away from me it's bad enough I have to deal with mango lady.The smart ass: You are not funny. Stop! cracking jokes in class. NO one is laughing and you are embarrasing the rest of us that are trying to learn and the teacher. We don't even crack a smile and your loud obnoxious voice is grating to my ears. I am so ready to kick your ass seriously! I mean think about it, the teacher says something and you have a smart retort like we care what you have to say. You are not an authority, you have no degree, you are not smart and you have no brain cells, why should we listen to you. so do me at least the favor keep your bad breath self away from me, mango girl and unwashed are enough to handle in class today.

10. People that quote scripture for no reason: I mean they think they are an authority but then they only quote it when it is convinient for them i.e. "I am going to drink because jesus drank wine, he turned water into wine" Oh but getting drunk is not something the bible says anything about? Like the bible doesn't talk about drunks and how they are (and I quote)" Drunks and gluttons will end up on skid row, in a stupor and dressed in rags.Proverbs 23:18-20 (in Context) Proverbs 23 (Whole Chapter) " (The message Bible)

In conclusion, I need a vacation from here to be around people with a brain is something I am longing for. And that is my top 10 idiotic things happening on campus.
How is your world?

Work Out!

2007-02-05T09:03:00.000-05:00

Let me preface by saying yesterday was a bad day!
In case you are wondering why? Well I am an anorexic that has been in remission for two years. Last year I almost fell back into my disease but then with Baby's help I pulled through the rough parts. Well yesterday was a bad day. I could feel the itches of needing to stop eating coming at me lately.

I became a vegetarian and went running every morning and drank a lot of water. And I was doing good. But all it takes is one thought and then I am feel myself falling and helplessly I can't stop it. Before long I am back to square one and I wallow.

So read all about yesterday at http://oktoberbaby.blogspot.com/ my other blog.

But anyway, I pulled through and this morning I am thinking positive. Eating healthy again and going to work out with my girl at the school gym.

Now about the Super Bowl! What the hell happened? I was rooting for Chicago and they had me so excited in the first quarter. I mean I was bad mouthing Kafo and calling Monika and telling her off and then by the end of the first wuarter I was sure we were schooling the stupid Colts and then second quarter when the score was 16/14 Colts I was still optimistic that we would catch up but boy was I wrong. Come on Chicago, you were supposed to make me proud! You got beat down! What the hell was up with all the dropped balls and interceptions? And what was wrong with your running back? I am still pissed off! Here I was riding twenty bucks on this game and then loosing it to Baby, who by the way along with Kafo laughed at me all night long!

Gotta love football. I dont' know what took over me, I mean one minute in B-Springs I was really into football and then I kind a fashied it but now I am back people, next year I am throwing my own superbowl party so start saving, superbowl in my home next year with my flat screen (that's what I want for christmas 2007, a flat screen HDTV! Don't be hating, if I can't get my Infinit FX35 I might as well get my dream TV right?)

Gotta go to class, have a great day folks!

Saga of Professor...

2007-02-01T16:36:00.000-05:00

It is funny how I have become the very thing that I hate all in the quest to get a good GPA and recommendations for Columbia.

Well first of all I am officially a suck up! I don't mean that I suck I just mean that I always find myself in the front of the class discussing during breaks with the teacher. My old teachers from last year bump into me in the hallways of our department and give me hugs and wanna know how I am doing and if they can assist me in any of my classes

What's worse? I hang out with the jocks, so I am begining to think that they only sit around me in class so they can be in my group and get an A. Have I now become what Vixen was in high school... A GEEK...?

No!

I try to think how I got from social butterfly to "Eficko". This didn't happen overnight. Where is the origin of this nonsense and how can I stop it? Well I can map it to two words "Law School".
Don't get me wrong, I do have good conversations with people and now I have left my shell and have some friends on campus who are dying to come with me to Nigeria for my wedding but I get the feeling that if I am not glued to my computer surfing wedding crap then i am in class debating topics with the teachers.

It got so bad that I walked into my math class and noticed that my professor from last semester taught this math class. I was so happy I said "did you miss me?" He turned and smiled and said "Hell Yeah" And when class started kept asking people if they need help to ask me because I know my stuff. I started laughing in my head because I don't remember a single thing I learned in Math 118, and what's worse is that if you told my sister Menty that I was a math wiz in my school and teachers were recommending me she would roll of her couch laughing, probably die from laughter!

So what has happened?

As I sit contemplating how to switch my role back to the party girl that I know I can be, I realize deep down inside that my goals, priorities and my maturity have taken over. I have now become a product of this f-ing village that I live in and as I dread the answer I know I must ask myself this "Are the partying days for LadyB over?"

I think it is time for an Intervention! a party intervention! Superbowl Party anyone?

P.S: Check out Menty's new blogs, she is deep ya'll I am so proud!
http://realitythrukemieyes.blogspot.com/
http://dilemma2008.blogspot.com/

The Car and Me...

2007-01-31T14:07:00.000-05:00

So for the last year and month I haven't had a car.
I sold my poor baby last year around this time to a friend of mine so that I could have extra money in my pocket for the year 2006 and I wouldn't have to worry about insurance and all the stuff that comes along with that.

Well it turns out that maybe that wasn't a good idea.

For the last year baby and I have been sharing his car which is a 2006 (Limited Edition) Volkswagen Jetta. It is a good car. I mean I can drive it and the sound system in it is amazing. I turn up the stereo and full blast it down I-84 to class which is only one exit away from campus
Well that was last semester

This semester Baby has a full load in his master's program because we are trying to get the hell out of this small town in the year 2008 and that is contingent on him graduating next year. Anyway so he has class every night and work every day. I have class everyday during the day and at night. Thanks to president bush and the war in Iraq and the idea that we could trade the car in next year and get something better (my dream car Infiniti FX35) we have been doing serious carpooling.

So I wake up when Baby wakes up in the morning (6:30am) and get to campus at 8:00am then I am in school until Baby picks me up after his night class at 10:00pm. I could have lived on campus for this kind of schedule. I mean seriously! I am in school all day and doing homework and school work. And then by the time I get home I am too tired to sleep (I am an insomniac)

What pisses me off the most is that when I am awake pacing back and forth trying to exhaust myself, baby is fast asleep , and then when he wakes me up in the morning and I am cranky (not a morning person) he gets upset.

Okay side not here: I NEED A CAR! this schedule is grueling. Not to mention that I have a class in the early morning. I have two classes with the same professor and he had the gall to say to me " i find you more involved in class in the afternoon than in the morning, why is this (Insert my Name here)?" I tried not to sound so irritated and condescending when I replied and that took a lot of control. Who the hell puts a class at 8:00am?

Maybe the last year has spoiled me and I have forgotten the days of trudging down the hill at Jamestown Apartments in Baltimore to catch the 6:30am bus to get to work by 7:30am or the mornings in Baltimore when I had to roll myself out of my beautiful "buzz" induced slumber to go teach some little hellions...

As Baby has gotten fond of saying after each good morning kiss "get up spoiled brat! time to hit the shower!" I am beginning to get the picture and the solution to my problems "I need an espresso machine" Guess what is going on the top of my wedding gift registry list?

Yes I am officially a spoiled lady.

And I am not complaining

Except when you wake me up before 12:00 in the f-ing morning!

Deans List Fall 06

2007-01-30T10:26:00.000-05:00

Last semester they forgot to put my name on the damn list but this semester they didn't! YEAH! Okay so there are a lot of people on the list but in the management department only 15 of us made it so I am like so on point!

Check it out at www.wcsu.edu/academics/deanslist/

It is alphabetical so you woult have a hard time finding my name (and no it isn't poetic justice).

Right now I am about to do some more studying because we have this big ass test coming up. So car I hate my classes but my friends are in all of them so that is kind of great.

Later people

P.S: My lawyer and his secretary are both morons and I am too pissed off to even begin to describe the calamity of what they have just done! Please pray that everything gets straightened out.

Don't mind me...

2007-01-29T09:32:00.000-05:00

I am just a student. I have no textbooks, no notebooks or even a damn pen but I am on my way to class and I am finishing up my first degree (finally) and I am popular but hey don't ask me now I made my grades last semester ( ended up with only one B+ the rest were As) just ask the teachers.

Hahahahahah!

No seriously I am actually going to buy my textbooks today.
Here is something I was thinking about...I decided to start one of those tag craps so here it is. Mine is rather short Maybe yours will be longer! And if yo happen to read this you have been Tagged! Yeah that's right! Gotcha!

Ten things I like to do when people are not around:
1. Run around my apartment naked singing "Oruka ti do wo na"
2. Roll around under the covers endlesslessly laughing to myself in the nude
3. Eat raisins while watching CSI Miami (in the nude)
4. Belch out my ABC's and see if I can get to Z, then laugh
5. Read blogs
6. Play my music very loud and hope I bother my annoying neighbors
7. Make myself laugh and crack jokes to myself knowing I woult think I am crazy doing it.
8. Sit in the dark and think with the whole house silent, in the nude
9. Eat Soy-Ice-Cream and not feel guilty
10. Play dress up

Basically when no one is around I am naked 95% of the time. (Except when I am talking on the phone with friends cause that would be really wierd!) So if you call me and then I call you back its because I had to put clothes on!

You HAVE BEEN TAGGED

Better Part of My Week...

2007-01-26T15:01:00.000-05:00

Was spent trying to get my classes in order.

Big ups to Menty for coming through. Seriously I don't know what I will do without you. Anyway, I realize now that I am very anal and that I need to take a break. I mean seriously. I was so busy worrying about school this week I didn't even think about my wedding. It just shows you what my first love is.

I realize now (thanks to some serious insighte from Dami, Tope and Baby) that the wedding is secondary. The realy joy is actually comitting and spending your life with someone

That person who keeps forgeting to put his damn cup in the sink! Seriously what is it with guys and being forgetful. I mean I know not all guys are forgetful but what I hate most is rolling over the next morning and being confronted with your juice cup from the night before. Why do I hate this? because there is always that peice of dried up juice at the bottom that refuses to get washed out in the dishwasher so I have to spend the better part of the morning trying to reach and scrap it out (making that irritating noise) and curse you all the while.

But I am truly madly in love.!.

Okay enough gushing!

I am not a morning person. Anyone who has slept over or had me sleep over knows that I don't pop awake smiling and saying "Time to take on the day!" I open one eye at a time and then take my time getting out of bed and then have devotion. And it is after two beautiful cups of Green Tea and one very scalding hot shower that I finally allow myself to appreciate the day.

So why do I have a 8:00am class this semester. God hates me is what it is! either he hates me or he just wants to play another joke at my expense. I mean seriously! the only class that I need to graduate and they have only one of it this semster. And guess what time that is?! Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays from 7:55 to 8:35am! WTF !

There goes sleeping late to the daily show. At least I will be able to make work at 9:00am. By the way I can't work Monday-Wednesda because I have class from 7 to 4 and then from 5:30-10pm. This is going to be my hardest semster. And I have three math classes. Don't ask me how I ended up with three but i have three.

Baby said that two out of the three are not math classes but finance class. Okay you tell me if you have to do statistics and then calculus is that not math?! Thank you!

Wish me luck

P.S: This weekend my fav. Brother in-law to be is moving so baby and I are going up to help him! And as you can see I am doing much better about all that emotional garbage that has been going on. I have decided to let go just like that song by Frou Frou! You should really listen to it!

School Woes

2007-01-23T18:07:00.001-05:00

Today was my first day in class

Okay so I was supposed to go to class yesterday but guess what? My advisor put me on a different campus. It's like you having to take classes in Ikeja and then they put you on a Victoria Island campus and tell you to commute in between classes in like 5 minutes.

Mind you I don't have a car and Baby is working and going to school at the same time that I am. So to drop me off at the other campus would be like an hour and more out of his way and then he would be late and miss class.

Out of my seven classes he has four of them hoping around like a jack rabbit. from one campus to the next. So i have been trying to change my status in school. The advisor had the audacity to tell me to withdraw this semester so that next semester I will be in the right classes.

Asshole! I am a senior and graduating this semester. Oh! and if I don't take all seven classes because I am an International Student I will not be allowed to march. Taht is the update I got from my international student advisor. So I have been speaking with the Dean of the Schoolof Business, the Dean of the Management Department, the class teachers, and even the VP of academic affairs to get into these new classes. Not to mention my constant battle with financial aid for messign with my money and my up hill drama with the Internation Student's Office because they forgot to put me as an In-State student this semester instead of International Student!

Anyway, the drama with the hall is official over. We have secured it. Read more about the wedding plans and updates on my Wedding Woes blog.

I saw this poem that I had written like years ago addressed to someone and it encompasses how I feel about right now. There was a line that says "The time you needed me the most, I was there, the time I needed you the most you were no where. Ask me where do i go from here?"

I have been speaking with my mother almost everyday. I miss having her around in close proximity. She knows how to calm me and make me see beyond my pain to whats really there. So I am doing better and I know by the end of this week, I will be back to my old self again.

Baby and I went to Waldenbooks because it was closing (going otu of busines at our mall) and we just started packing books like we had no tomorrow. I got like five different "how to plan a cheap wedding" books. there were different variations from getting cheap centerpieces to getting rid of the expensive budget. So I have been doing a lot of micromanaging of our budget.

I mean seriously, do I really need to have roses in each party favor on each place setting. It's not like I have a hundred guests.

I also got the latest books of my favorite authors finally (Tess Garritsen, John Grisham, Lee Child, Tom Clancy, Julie Garwood (vixen put me on to her), John Sanford, and the Alex Cross Series final book Cross). I also got some nice Daniel Steels. I am going to begin reading a lot more of her books. I mean they are really deep and they have good endings whether you like it or not, they are more realistic than some of the garbage out there. So basically while we were checking our books out we seemed to be the only people there with like piles of books. Baby had all this computer books for developing companies, websites, projects, databases, and all these computer language books. Then he bought some true life stories and some period books from the 1800s and then he bougt four books on Einstein (don't ask). One was Understanding Einstien for Dummys which I plan to read so that when he starts talking about it I don't feel like the dummy!

Anyway we came out spending under $150 because all the books where like 70-80% off! We are going back on Saturday to see if there are any books left.

Baby and I are also starting a wine collecting hobby. Seriously! Not that we are actually going to drink the wine (wink wink!) but we realized that by the time we are like 60 the wine from 2000 would be old so we are buying wine and maybe someday we can open a wine celler and have friends do some wine tasting. I am planning to someday bid for old wine online So far we have wine from 1998-2000 sitting here in our home.

Check out Chris Daughtry's new single. Tell me he isn't better than the person that won. Anyway on my way to catch American Idol's new season of misfits. Maybe I should go and compete next year! Just a thought

Later people enough rambling for one day...

Oh Baltimore family this is for you:
I woke up this morning to this song and I got so mad at Baby for leaving Vh1 on last night (because I passed out on the couch in the middle of Daily show so baby must have changed the channel.) Anyway I woke up this morning to
"Baby why you calling me so late..." Hence the shitty day! Miss you guys so MUCH!

School Woes

2007-01-23T18:07:00.000-05:00

Late Night Conversation

2007-01-22T09:59:00.000-05:00

So Baby and I were sitting up last night watching "Intervention" on A&E. It's this show where addicts agree to participate in a show about addiction and then the family of the addicts ambush them with an intervention. Some people make it and others don't which is the sad part because you want them to go to rehab and get help and get well.

Well, Baby and I got to talking afterwards and we were discussing personalities types. Actually I have the personality of becoming an addict. So when we started talking I realized that addictions come in different forms. Some might be addicted to painkillers, medication, drugs, or alchohol. Others might just be addicted to the anticipation of the effect of these things in thier system. Some other people are addicted to the mental aspects like an emotion or a behavioral aspect like attention.

Either way it is clear now that I need to be more careful about how much or how obsessed I become with things. I kept thinking to myself that I could never get to the point of this lady I saw on tv yesterday but after that interesting conversation I realized that maybe I could.

I mean I am still battling my eating disorder every single day. Some days are better than others. So maybe that is my addiction. In the end we are all addicted to something.

My question is this: Are all addictions bad?

I have a dress

2007-01-20T09:40:00.000-05:00

I have a dress with three large patterns.
I love this dress and wear it all the time.
Each pattern is different but has a common thread
One in the front and one on each side.
The one in the front I consider unique and beautiful
That's the first thing anyone sees when they look at us
You are the first born.

I am very protective of this dress
And I treat it with care
When the patterns get dirty I wash them clean
When the dress gets wrinkled
I iron out the creases
I spent my entire life defending this dress
My father told me "defend your sisters, you are the strong one protect them"

I went to a party and this bastard spilled wine all over
The front of my dress
My pattern became soiled and dirty.
I took it to the dry cleaners and they fixed it up
Cleaned it up
Funny how it happens that only the front pattern
Gets soiled and dirty
Every single time it did
I was there to help, clean up and fix
Hem and redress
All those idiots you let into your life
Affected the lives of the people already in it

Then some smoker came around me one day
I was so busy focusing on my face
So busy focusing on my own life
I didn't realize the ashes from his cigerette had fallen on my dress
ON the front of my dress
It began to burn away.
Creating a hole in the front of the dress, on my beautiful pattern
By the time anyone realized it, the burn was to large
I tried washing the dress but the hole got bigger
I tried mending the dress but the stains from the burns spread
I forgot about the other two patterns
They needed attention too
I focused so much on that one pattern and getting it back
Back to its original beauty
Why
Because I loved it so much

Then it came to me, I still have two more
Even if my dress is ruined in the front
Burnt with a big whole
I have two other beautiful patterns on the side.
So on Thursday after trying so hard to love you
And getting my love thrown in my face
I took a scissors and I cut the front pattern off
Maybe in time I will be able to hem the hole in the front
Maybe I will even fill it with another pattern.
Though in reality you can never buy a love in the market

Who knows.
Maybe with time people woult even know that there
Used to be a pattern there
That I boasted and talked about
But for now I am walking around with this huge hole
In my dress, where you used to be.
Deep down I know nothing will replace that pattern
Deep down I know I will never fix that hole
Deep down I know but I like to pretend
I like to pretend I can live without you
Maybe if I pretend hard enough
I can believe I don't love you anymore...

Sometimes It Hurts To Much...

2007-01-19T17:57:00.000-05:00

I was so upset last night I had to read my Bible. I spent the better part of the day meditating and this verse kept popping in my head: Psalm 27:10. I read the whole Psalm 27 again and again. My amazing sister Menty bought me this new bible called "the Message" and the way it takes a verse and makes it your own is amazing. This is poetry. I spent the rest of the day crying and praying. And feeling really down about the decision I made but I realize now that if i don't take a stand now, then I will continue to be upset.

I dedicate this to you. Wishing you the best even if that isn't what you want for yourself. You are the one person in this world I have known and loved longer than myself. And you just threw that all away. You hurt me more than anyone in the world...I tried my best for you and now I have am going to live for me. I am done!

1 Light, space, zest— that's God!

So, with him on my side I'm fearless,

afraid of no one and nothing.

2 When vandal hordes ride down

ready to eat me alive,

Those bullies and toughs

fall flat on their faces.

3 When besieged,

I'm calm as a baby.

When all hell breaks loose,

I'm collected and cool.

4 I'm asking God for one thing,

only one thing:

To live with him in his house

my whole life long.

I'll contemplate his beauty;

I'll study at his feet.

5 That's the only quiet, secure place

in a noisy world,

The perfect getaway,

far from the buzz of traffic.

6 God holds me

head and shoulders

above all who try to pull me down.

I'm headed for his place to offer anthems

that will raise the roof!

Already I'm singing God-songs;

I'm making music to God.

7-9 Listen, God, I'm calling at the top of my lungs:

"Be good to me! Answer me!"

When my heart whispered,

"Seek God,"

my whole being replied,

"I'm seeking him!"

Don't hide from me now!

9-10 You've always been right there for me;

don't turn your back on me now.

Don't throw me out, don't abandon me;

you've always kept the door open.

My father and mother walked out and left me,

but God took me in.

11-12 Point me down your highway, God;

direct me along a well-lighted street;

show my enemies whose side you're on.

Don't throw me to the dogs,

those liars who are out to get me,

filling the air with their threats.

13-14 I'm sure now I'll see God's goodness

in the exuberant earth.

Stay with God!

Take heart. Don't quit.

I'll say it again:

Stay with God.

Happy Birthday Mom

2007-01-19T02:26:00.000-05:00

When all others told you that I was going to be a failure. I wouldn't amount to anything. You choose to teach me to channel my anger and make something of myself

When life threw me rocks you told me to take those rocks and build a fortress

You taught me not to let others break my spirit and to be proud of my heritage.
You helped me structure my life when all things were not structured and encouraged me to do what's right.

You kept my head from evil even when evil attracted me to itself
Held my hand when i fell and held my head when I was sick
Held my heart when i was anorexic
My voice when i was broken and bleeding from fates harsh blows

You made me want to be great
Aspire for greatness
Reach for a future that seemed beyond my grasp

You taught me how a woman should allow a man to treat her
How a woman should allow herself to be loved
How a woman shows her man love
You taught me to respect myself
That I am a queen, a gem, a jewel,
And should be viewed as such, anything else was not an option

You made me want nothing but the best and taught me to respect myself
Taught me how not to cheapen myself
You made me the virtuous woman I am

You gave me guidelines and showed me how to live my life on the path that most don't seek
You gave me an education a beacon to guide my path for all my days
Taught me to be independent and brace myself against the nay sayers

You made me proud to be woman to be pure to be godly
To place trust in a higher being
You gave me food for my mind, water for my spirit and breathe by giving me life
You made me proud to be spiritual to have a voice and to be quiet and dainty

I am what I am because you showed me that it is not wrong for a woman to speak
It is not wrong for a woman to have her own
It is not wrong for a woman to have all girls and still be proud
It is not wrong for a woman to be a tomboy

I am who a I am because of you

Thank you my dear mother and Happy Birthday!

I MISS YOU

The Forehead

2007-01-18T14:41:00.000-05:00

So after a visit with the doctor, the forehead seems to be on it's final journey to clearing up. Even though it will take another two weeks (said the doctor) to be gone at least it is getting "ripe" to popping which is the way Baby described it.

I didn't know he was so worried about my skin. He has been checking in and getting ointment to make sure it doesn't itch. Yesterday I was walking aroud with calamine lotion all over my face. Which by the way was stupid cause this morning I work up with black heads on all the little rash like bumps that I had on my neck and face.

It's funny cause I didn't realize how vain I was about my smooth skin. I guess I took it for granted and now that this has happened I am just totally longing for the days when I look in the mirror and just smoothness was all I saw.

Flashbacks to my childhood when I had chicken pox keep popping in my head. I remember I was obssessed with this guy called FB. We were really good friends and every girl in high school wanted to date him but he wanted to date me. And I loved the attention. But I got chicken pox and had to come home for a month. FB came to visit me in Lagos a few times and then he started talking about this girl that was a real good friend of ours. I mean here I was with spots all over my face and you are gushing about some skinny wench who has no spots and isn't sick. The girl was in my inner circle and knew how I felt about FB.

By the time I got back to school she was dating him. But that didn't stop me from ...

Okay enough flashbacks. Let's just say I was a bad girl then!

School starts on Monday. I can't wait! I miss hanging out with my quirky Management Club buddies. We are having a send off dinner for one of our pals. She is spending her last semester abroad. I was invited to do the same program but with Baby, the wedding, LSATs , Lawyer crap, and everything else going on I decided this wasn't the best time.

Maybe when I get to Law School I will do a semester abroad.

Going to take another shower because these bumps are beginning to itch.

What's going on with you guys?

Family

2007-01-17T12:37:00.000-05:00

Two things are very true:

One is that your family upbringing will have an influence on how you approach the world and who you become

The second fact is that you will have elements of your family members in you that you love or distaste and others will see it.

That being said I want to say I have found the origin of Baby's sweetness. Yes it is true. With all the drama going on for the last three days, I was throwing myself into a fit. I mean loosing it completely and who do you think called me yesterday?

My soon to be father-in-law. He called to see how I was doing. And to encorage me that there was a solution and he would work everything out with Bola. He also said I shouldn't worry that everything was under control. He made me laugh and by the time he got of the phone I was smiling.

When Baby got home he did the same thing. I had gotten off the phone with other people who had once again upset me and Baby came home and was so sweet, making me laugh and have a great night.

I thought about it this morning and realized that there are some genes worth having! And some worth loosing! I don't know if everything our parents gave us are good but we should always keep the good and kick the bad!

My father gave me the ability to be extremely forgiving and gullible. But my mother gave me ability to cut people out of my life if they stress me. So i try to balance both. i don't like to be decieved and treated unkindly like I am a child. I hate people controlling my life and telling me what to do, and I hate people who are spoiled and think they can get what they want just by pouting and causing drama. In fact people like that get my mother's side of me. The cold distant side that keeps people at bay so they don't affect her!

I love people who are warm and considerate of others. Honest without being mean and frank. They tell the truth and are open to correction and love to have a great time! People who enjoy laughing and try and stay clear of drama. These people get my father's side of me that pulls you in and I would go the extra mile for you

So if you are out there and I have gone the extra mile and show you all of my honesty and devotion it's because I genuinely love and care about you. But if I have been disdainfull and cruel it's because you are a bitch and I can't stand phony people. So take your phony ass as get to stepping!

Okay Maybe there might be a reception...

2007-01-16T15:29:00.000-05:00

I spoke to my mother again...

She calmed me down. If you want to hear the whole drama then check out my new blog on my wedding but basically, I am really going to bed right now.

I may have a reception but it will be just for our friends. No one more! Anyone that wants to bring people should put money down. For REAL!

No Reception in the States

2007-01-16T14:25:00.000-05:00

So since our wedding is in Nigeria it is looking like people are cheap.

No scratch that! People are selfish. And I have decided that I am not going to go into debt over a damn reception so that someone can come over and eat my shit and act like they are happy for me!. Seriously if you think about it, what really is the purpose of throwing a party here. I am sorry for my friends who can't come home with me because I really wanted to have this whole friends thing going, and to be honest baby and I wanted to invite just 100 of our close friends and family, enjoy on a boat. But now we are not even going to have that.

What we are left with is nothing.

We are going to cut the whole reception idea out because I am pissed off. Maybe tomorrow I will feel better but my mother made a strong point "the party in Nigeria is the biggest and loudest and if you miss it! then you miss it! Start your new life debt free" Imagine someone suggesting I should take a loan

I know not all families are like mine. Not everyon is like me and thinks about others and helps others. So I will have my fabolous wedding in Nigeria and then suffer in silence as I contemplate how soon I can move away from the east coast and all this negative energy!

I am seriously considering that Columbia Law might not be in my best interest. It would plant me in the center of people I am ready to leave behind. So I am leaning towards Alaska! Really!
I have bent and compromised for everyone and now that I think about it.
Whey the hell am I going to let my parents spend so much money.

That's it we are eloping!

Baby! Get your stuff, we are eloping and all that money we saved up for the reception here we are going to spend it on us! Dammit!! I always wanted to go to Italy. Wouldn't that be great! An italian honeymoon. Sorry mom and dad, but since people couldn't agree and be helpful, wait until vixen, menty or monika decide to marry. I mean I am not about to have my faboulous ebony skin break out in boils just because some people couldn't compromise too. This isn't about you! It's about us, get that straight! and if you can't bend Then forget it! I am tired and going to bed!

Breaking Out!

2007-01-16T02:38:00.000-05:00

It is official! I am stressed out.

At first I thought this was just another season of skin change. I am not one to get pimples or skin blemishes when things are string me out. In fact I loose my hair. But since November, my hair began to turn grey. I thought it was funny at the time. But when your hairdresser suggests that she dye your hair before putting braids in then you have a problem.

I thought this would pass. And during my failed-rescue mission my hair literally fell out. I mean chunks of braids came out of my head at various points. Becuase we got little sleep and well we were stressed out.

Then I got home and this wedding thing has got me wigging (a new word i learned from Borat at the Golden Glob Awards tonight).

I mean seriously, this week started off just great. (imagine this is Tuesday morning and I am already saying this week..._) We went to the site loved it and things were going great. But trust people to put a damper on your spirit. I didn't sleep all of Sunday night because I stressed out. Kept calling my mom in Nigeria and my dad trying to come up with a solution. Then I woke up at 2 pm to find my whole face covered in zits and blotches. I am not talking small zits I am talking all across my forhead are zits. And my whole face has small goose bump looking splotches. I don't know how to handle this.

I have never broken out before. I mean I broke out once when I had chicken pox but this is something I don't know how to handle. And the goose bump looking dots have extended down my back. Okay I take two showers every day and haven't changed my soap so it isn't the water, hygeine or anything like that. I haven't changed my pills or anything. So what the hell.

STRESS!

With the drama in my family, my wedding, school starting, lawyer crap, and my relationship. I feel the stress. I mean I have had tension headaches the last week and half that I am begining to get acustomed to the nagging ache in between my eyebrows!

And this is supposed to be my year of fun! Surely things can't get any worse.

After Thought...

2007-01-15T02:44:00.000-05:00

Okay so I resently had a conversation with a person who asked me to name the top five things that matter most to me and list why? When I started to list my family and people I love he said "not people, or places or goals, things...emotions etc"

1. Trust
Why trust? well trust trumps love in my book. Some say that love conquers all, include "the good book" but in my book I value trust more than anything. If I love a person and that person isn't trustworthy, they will only hurt me.

2. Faith/Belief
I value faith and belief. Whether in the supernatural, metaphysical or the unknown being that controls all. I value this because I need to believe that there is something greater than me and you that controls and guides and leads. That my life has some cosmic significance or value

3. Values
A person with no values or morals or scruples can do anything. I want to know what people are capable off. To know that they have a line or a limit that they woult cross. I place values and morals high on my list

4. Love
Funny isn't it? I am a really big romantic and yet love is number 4 on my list. Love is such a strong emotion that if left alone you could be damaged and scarred for life. Love is not enough when it comes to my safety but love is necessary when it comes to relationships.

5. Freedom and control
The ability to live my life without anyone's strings or controls. To say what I feel and do what I think is right and smart. I mean I will listen to what you have to say and the freedom to evaluate opinions pick and choose. To guide myself based on the above listed and make decisions tha t affect my life while considering others. The ability to speak and act, and plan my own future. To be able to control my own future without any limitations except those that I set for myself.

After our very extensive conversation I got to thinking that I couldn't really say one is above the other but I can say that Freedom is above them all.

Really

One thing that really irks me in this life is people imposing or disrespecting another person's freedom that being said some people don't deserve the freedom they are given because they misuse this freedom and hurt others by thier careless acts and stupid decisions.

Selfish people don't deserve to be free. They deserve to be isolated on an island where thier actions will only impact themselves.

Anyway, just another lazy night where I have had nothing but music and my mind and someone pissing me off...

It's funny how one person's actiosn can make you want to just hurl a television at thier head! I promised my Bmore family that whenever I am mad I would not become violent in my blogging. I need anger management classes because all this supressing is begging to come out in many ways that I fear will not be controlable.

My 2:00AM Musing

2007-01-12T02:48:00.000-05:00

Don't worry I was browsing some of your blogs and realize that I haven't done this little Meme yet so here it is

A is for age]: 25

[B is for beer of choice]: Shandy

[C is for career]: Human Rights Lawyer (children and women) Hence the reason that bastard is lucky I haven't gotten a law degree yet or his ass would be in jail!

[D is for favorite Drink]: Today, right now, this moment it is Ameretto on the Rocks!

[E is for Essential item you use everyday]: My Baby! No seriously, Deodorant!

[F is for Favorite song at the moment]: "Let Go" by Frou Frou of the Garden State Soundtrack

[G is for favorite Game]: BeJeweled on my Cell phone

[I is for Instruments you play]: Piano (I suck), Saxophone (just learning), Guitar (writing songs again), Recorder(I am a pro)

[J is for favorite Juice]: Apple Cider (Original not the fake wine they give you at Christian functions!)

[K is for Kids]: Four more years people

[L is for last kiss]: a minute ago...and counting! The night is still young

[M is for marriage]: August! but then again...

[N is for full Name]: Okay my initials I can give here we go: O O A O A A O

[O is for Overnight hosp stays]: None since I came to the U.S. Quite a few when I was in Nigeria (malaria, ulcers, thyphoid etc)

[P is for phobias]: Fear of failure (Atychiphobia)

[Q is for quote]: "Life is game of chess...CHECKMATE!"

[R is for biggest Regret]: Not slapping the shit out of that bastard when he passed me in the hospital!

[S is for sports]: Volleyball, Raquetball, Soccer, Badminton, Hockey, Flag Football, Rugby (can't play anymore but love watching), Track (400M) etc

[T is for Time you wake up]: 12:00noon
.
[U is for color underwear]: Asiri Victoria

[V is for Vegetable you love]: Spinach (raw), carrots, broccoli, cabbage, celery, lettuce, corn (raw), tomatoes (which is actually a fruit), raddish, mushrooms (raw), etc

[W is for Worst Habit]: Over complicating issues

[X is for X-rays you've had]: TB X-ray and something with my eye

[Y is for Yummy food you make]: Food is the enemey

[Z is for zodiac sign]: Libra (But I really wish I wasn't because Libra doesn't even come close to how I feel! Zodiac had it all wrong when it came to me)

Ikea is the Devil

2007-01-11T13:07:00.000-05:00

I started a new blog about my wedding. You can check it out at "Wedding Wars"

In other news, I have come to the realization that I am not an alcoholic. I refuse to accept that I am. Why? Well the truth of the matter is that I haven't had a drink since the 31st of December and today is the 11th of January. Meaning for the last 10 days I have been alcohol-ess and if I were an alcoholic then I couldn't be dry for 10 days straight could I?

So I plan to celebrate today with some "apple cider" my ability to remain drinking free!

P.S: When I bought my Ameretto I didn't get cups!

Okay so there is this drama tha has been playing out in my family and it is still dragging on making everyone involved so misereable and to alleviate this stress I have tried to focus on the positive. Positive being my life with Baby.

So I must repeat at this juncture the statement that I have been telling all my friends who have called "Ikea is the devil! and I can't stop sinning"

On Saturday, Baby and I drove to IKEA which is pretty far from where we live to go look around. As my girl Tope remarked to me later "you can't just go look around in IKEA" Well, I wasn't warned about this. We ended up pricing out a sleeper sofa, getting curtains for the whole apartment (all five rooms including kitchen), getting the "Bobby" set of bookcases for the front room/study area, getting accessories and pricing out futon mattresses.

When I say pricing out I mean seeing if our credit card can take some more hits without us affecting our credit ratings.

I spent the better part of yesterday and the day before monitoring IKEA to see if they have changed prices on any of the stuff. I shall keep you posted. But needless to say I am now an addict and I seriously need an Intervention.

It isn't funny to think that when I first arrived in America all I could think about was how to save enough money to buy my tuition books and how hard I am going to study for my next exam or quiz. I am seriously to believe Baby when he syas that my priorities have begun to get mixed up.

Am I falling into that Gap where now all I think about is getting my home in order, cooking, weight and work? Have I become Americanized?

My mother seems to think so as we daily battle on chair covers or not to chair covers (read about it in my new blog).

Happy Anniversary

2007-01-10T14:03:00.000-05:00

Happy Anniversary Blog! I almost forgot but today marks a year that I have been blogging. I never thought I would enjoy it as much as I do.

Thank you vixen for introducing me to the world of blogging. And to all my members of my blogging family, look forward to reading more from you... I am a Sophomore now people (in the blogging world)

Can I get a cup cake and a candle or something better yet make that an Ameretto on the rocks!

Tunz, Skillz and Jamz

2007-01-10T13:06:00.000-05:00

Nigerians!

I say that word with all funny -ness that I can muster and while rolling with laughter.

I had to go yesterday morning to see someone for business in NY and then rush back for an appointment here in CT. So while I was running around yesterday like a chicken with my head cut-off I was on the train at some point.

This Nigerian guy sat directly accross from me. Okay let me pause.
I am listenign to my ipod trying to focus as Josh Groban calms my anxious spirit when i get a tap on my shoulder

"Somebody dey sit here?" I look up at this very Nigerian looking boy
"I mean is someone sitting here?" he repeated but with "fone". You know with acata accent. I smiled to myself (but not outwardly) and tried not to laugh as I shook my head no.

This guy was dressed in every 50 cent, Sean Joh, Roca Wear, Eminem attire you could possibly buy. He was decked out with saggy babby pants and top, huge RocaWear Jacket and Timbs on his feet, and he had on long gold chains and earings. Oh and his hair was in braids. I almost died with holding in my laughter. Why you may ask? Since we see these thug looking guys all the time. He was on the phone and his conversation was contrary to his looks

"Se u no see ni? Omo na true talk I dey yan you o! E get dis boy we get serious skillz. "im be the one wey I dey talk sey go delivar the beatz for dese streetz"

In my head I am thinking did he just say beats for these streets in pidgin.

"Na so jare! (insert huge obnoxious laughter here) and in addition you know that I am the shitz in brooklyn for real"

Okay I let a chuckle here. Na real shit for brooklyn.

"Omo I no dey play! Skillz up and down this moda-fucker"

Yeah like I am so supposed to look at all the name brand celebrity names you are rocking at say hey he is really skilled.
Then my nigerian brother busted out this lame ass rap session into the phone. Cursing and everything. I think that Nigerian guys think that if they use the F-word and the S-word every other sentence that that qualifies as rapping. What ever happened to being a lyricist. I sit back close my eyes and turn Josh Groban on higher and try to tune out this Nigerian brother and what he calls "Jamz"

My soon to be brother in-law would die of shame if he heard the nonesense coming out of this Nigeria. But hey it's no better than the nonesense that Bad Boy and Timbaland have been throwing our way for the last few years.

I guess if you want real hip hop you have to go looking for it. Gone are the days when good music was found on the streets of New York.

Nigerians!

How was your Monday?

Blogs I enjoy

2007-01-05T15:42:00.000-05:00

So I have decided to start this new monthly post called Blogs I Enjoy. I am sure that as with all my weekly monthly crap this one will soon be forgotte.

Please check out this blog called "Survivingyourinlaws.blogspot.com" Seriously It is mad interesting. I made a suggestion to Passion to put her email so people can write her thier stories and she took it. I enjoy the blog. It has interesting stories. And when you think that he blog is mad long, just begin to read and before you know it you are done. The stories are supposedly real but hey even if they are not, Passion girl, you are the bomb in writing!

later

A time for reflection...

2007-01-02T15:03:00.000-05:00

Please accept the offer, please take help

To many lives have been hurt and damaged by what you have done

Now is a time for healing

Please accept the offer, please get help

We love you and are begging you please...

Happy New Year

2007-01-01T02:13:00.000-05:00

I realize that what I have done is done and that this new year that I am entering is one that is a changing point. I have so many things that happened in 2006 that drained me but I am happy that I made it this far and that things turned out the way they did

So I am not going to share my new years resolution with you but I will tell you that I didn't keep the ones from last year.

Happy New Year and I realized that my blog is about to be one year old. Okay any reason to get gifts right! I smell another count down

To my bmore family, thank you so much for being there for me this year. I love you guys so much

To my family, I love you guys and thank you for everything and your support

To my baby, 2007 is looking excellent because you are in it

And to the friend that I never appreciated but I have finally got you. This last week has been hell and i couldn't have made it through if you weren't here so let me start and stop by saying that your friendship means the world to me and I can't wait to see you again. Do I hear graduation ticket?

Finally to my blogging family, see you in 2007!

I failed

2006-12-31T17:39:00.000-05:00

I sincerely pray that at the end of this road I will be able to smile and not cry...

Right now I feel like I failed

I am going home...

It's been hard

2006-12-30T15:51:00.000-05:00

I haven't even taken a moment to think about the new year coming. The last two weeks have been hard. And today is by far going to be the hardest day in my life. Wish me luck

It's funny as nothing is ever as simple as it appears. Pray for me...

Please

Vacationing in Houston

2006-12-25T22:20:00.001-05:00

So it is christmas day and I realize I haven't blogged in a few days. I know you are probably wondering why I haven't checked into an "Anger Management" program but seriously the last few posts are for this specimen of humanity that God saw fit to plague the world with and who unfortunately found it's way into the life of someone I love

To comment on the comment posted after one of my tirades. I have decided that people need to learn the hard sometimes to listen to counsel. I found out the hard way in the past that my sisters are the best friends I will ever have. NO matter how many headaches they give me. That being said, I have been fortunate to have found a family similar to mine that I have a strong bond with as well.

What I am trying to say is when you decide to walk a path that is contrary to everything you have been taught to know is right, and you toss your values away and let pride get in between you and your family, you will get burned. Hopefully, it isn't a third degree burn that can't be healed but a small burn that will only leave a scar, a constant reminder of what you should have done to make life different and better.

"The way you make your bed is the way you lie on it"!

So here is information about my vacation so far

I have been hanging with my sisters. Two days ago I went out (saturday night) with T and her friend who live in Houston. That was a lot of fun. We got to see the sites and we also went to this really suave lounge and bar that was really adult like. I had a lot of fun. We danced and sang and enjoyed ourselves and I my new drink "ameretto on the rocks".

Today we went from home to home eating and meeting people that my uncle knows here in Houston. Tomorrow is my last day here and then its off to Cali for the new year. I think that I have really trully enjoyed my vacation time

Wedding talk: I am going to start a new blog. I know I am always starting blogs but this time it's for real. I am going to put information on my blog of wedding things I am doing so that I can get help and contribution from people. The name of the blog is going to be wedding talk. I really need to vent sometimes about wedding plans and can't really do it here.

I got my grades and I got two B+s you know I am pissed off. The reason I got one was because I wasn't really serious in that class but the second one I feel should be an A and you know me I am going to contest the grade if I dont' feel that my work was worth the grade I recieved.

Anyway hope you had a great christmas and you got a lot of gifts. Christmas this year is the hardest but I am beginning to realize that God is in control and that my life and the life of my family is really ordered by God!

Best wishes and hopefully I shall be updating you guys from Cali next!

Later peoples

Let me Explain: I hope you read this ish!

2006-12-21T21:07:00.000-05:00

Okay let me break this down to you because I know you are not listening to what I am saying

If i see you I plan to give you a dirty slap!
If you know what is best for you...RUN
I swear when I see you I will take your head
And shove it so far up your ass
You will be seeing your intestines

In case you are wondering how I can be so capable of such wrath let me explain to y

Review the last three months
Think about what you have done
And then let me know what you think I should do
If you were in my fucking shoes
What the fuck you would do

Now multiply that shit a million
And it doesn't come close to the rage
I have developed for you
Take a minute and evaluate yourself
And then when you hear that my plane
Just landed
RUN!

So Much to Say

2006-12-20T19:43:00.000-05:00

I am so mad because I want to hurt you
I want to take you by your fucking head
And bash you repeatedly against a wall
I want to wake your ass up with fists pounding at your ribs
I want to kick you and let you feel the hurt she felt that night
I want you to walk in fear every day in you own home
Don't even try to get my sympathy
And win me over with your kind words and phony concern
You don't care about her
You care about you and what you get from her
love and security and the "save me please"
female attitude that comes with someone
Who feels she has no where else to go
I hate you and I have never even see your fucking face
I will hurt you
Just don't fall asleep on me
You fucking bastard
How dare you even think she doesn't have peoples
How dare you think you could get away with it
That your kisses and words would make everything alright
I will hurt you
Just you wait and see
Don't fall asleep on me

Wedding Gown Woes

2006-12-16T21:49:00.000-05:00

My older sister bought me a pair of jeans during thanksgiving in my regular size and well it didn't fit. So for the last few weeks, I detoxed and started working out every morning and cleaned out my system and I became a vegetarian again. So yesterday, I tried on the jeans and they slid on perfectly. I was excited!

After wandering around in my pj's for the better part of the day and surfing the web, I took it upon myself to go to the website where my dream wedding dress was, and I found out that there was actually a store in close proximity to where I was so I called them. They had my dress in the store and in the size that I am (not my projected size)

So I took the car (since baby was working on his final and was ignoring me) and headed to Newtown to go try on my dress. Two things:
1. What looks good on a manequin doesn't necessarily look good on you
2. Always take a girlfriend.

I felt so stupid being there trying on my dress and asking a sales lady what she thought when clearly the dress looked stupid on me she kept saying: "A little fabric added here and there and you will look great"

Yeah right! I looked like i was about to spill out of the dress and even though I had gotten it two sizes larger (because they always cut wedding gowns smaller than usual something I learned) I still stretched at the waist and the butt.

I am not going to delude myself into thinking that even if I diet and loose weight my big hooters woult pop out the top of my dress. I have a really "big problem" with toppling out of my clothes. Loosing weight only enhances the size of the "puppies" .Dilemna!

I have to find a new wedding dress and that is upsetting me. For guys it's whatever but any girl knows that once you find "the dress" every other dress fails in comparison! Oh well, I will mourn my Melissa Sweet dress as I head to other websites in search of something else.

A moment of silence for what could have been a stunning dress!

End of Another Semester

2006-12-16T11:29:00.000-05:00

So the semester officially ended for me on Thursday. I spent the better part of Friday trying to calculate in my mind if I did well this semester. I think I am going to get only one B and I deserve it because I just didn't get that class. I mean I know if I had taken the time to study and pay attention as I did in my other classes I probably would have ended with an A- but I was bored out ofmy mind and spent the better part of the class writing ideas for my wedding

Seriously! I must I have sketched my center peice idea like twenty times in my notebook.

So anyway after seven classes again this semester I ended with 1 B and the rest are A's. I think I did okay. I mean this isn't the official count. I get my grades next friday so wish me the best

In other news, people have been asking what I want for Christmas. Okay so in addition to the bags and the jewelry that I am expecting from everyone of you, I am also hoping that I get an IKEA gift card in the mail. Put any amount because you know with IKEA anything is something.

I am traveling again for the Christmas and New Year. Christmas is going to be so much fun. I am meeting up with my sisters: Menty and Monika in Houston. And get this my family from bmore (D, T and geo) are going to be visiting sister Kay so we are all going to hang. And i got a call from my causin Ti and she is going to be in Houston visiting her sister too so, in general lots of girl power! PARTY!

And then I am going to Cali for New Years to visit Vixen and her peeps. Also I am going to stop by and visit Man-Kind in L.A. Before I head back to my bleak and boring village.

I can't believe I have been living here for almost a year. How did I manage that? Well it has actually been sunny here over the last few days with highs in the upper 50's so that is good. So tell me what you want for Christmas?I am broke but the thought is all that counts right?

Wedding Stuff

2006-12-11T15:43:00.000-05:00

I have begun to have nightmares about my wedding.
At first I thought I wouldn't have any then it started about three weeks ago.

First dream I had was that I got to my wedding and I was wearing this horrible purple dress and the photographer didnt' show up so my causin had to take my pictures and then my bridesmaids deserted me and didn't come (which by the way they were not the people I have designated but some fake ass friends I haven't spoken to in forever).

This dream kept re-occuring until I finally had a new one which has been plaguing me and giving me headaches since last week

This dream I am in the church by myself and well, no one is there because everyone is stuck in traffic. The florist, the photographer, the guests, my groom, the wedding party, my parents and friends are all stuck in traffic. The pianist, the pastor and his wife, the band and the djs, even my sisters are stuck in traffic. And so I just stand there in my stupid off-pink dress and cry. The whole dream I am standing there crying

What the hell!!!!

So if you are like a dream interpreter you need to give me shout because I really don't get what the hell these dreams mean

In other news, school is almost over but this week is going to be my busiest so if you don't hear from me in a couple days just pray I spank my exams

Give me shout people! What is going on in your neck of the woods?

I found my ring

2006-12-09T19:30:00.000-05:00

Thank you for all your good wishes! I found my ring.

It is weird but without this symbol i felt very alone whenever baby wasn't around. That must sound crazy right?

Okay so this is finals week and I am mad swamped with work. First off let me give a big shout out to my diva T who turned her fro to something spicy! Loving the hair girl! As always "awon bobo to wa ni ta, you go kill them oh!"

Is it just me or are there seemingly more and more morons in this world? I was venting just yesterday to my family in bmore about how there is this one guy in my class who gets on my nerves.

Well let me break it down to you like this.

He works in this company here in my little neck of the woods. Now this company employs alot of people that live in my little town. While this company has various departments, I guess you can say it is a pretty good company to work at. But he works in the HR department. What the hell kind of intensive work do you do managing peoples files. And he is not working there like he was employed. He was placed there by the student internship program and they hired him on full time. So his idiot ass didn't have to use his brains to work. And trust me with his mediocre style I am sure that when things get rough for that company his ass would be the first to get cut. No be curse oh! Omo na factual Fact!

This idiot came over to where my group and I were working on a project and this conversation ensued (members of my group Tiny, Cutey, Presido, and I):

"Hey guys, what are you working on?"
Presido: Just our group project are you guys done?

Idiot: Yeah we finished ours, we are turning a 45 page essay

Me (to myself): what undergrad professor do you know that wants to read a 45 page essay on sexual harrasment

Idiot: So what are you guys doing for your written assignment
Cutey: We are going to have a folder with hand outs and we are making a flyer

Idiot: That's it? Well where I work (inserted name of the company) that wouldn't fly, you need to do more work, unless of course you are like mediocre and like like turning in mediocre work
Me: Who are you and why should we care what you think about our work

Idiot: I am just saying you know, what you are doing is just not up to par, I mean at my company (insert name of company) we work on projects like this and i work in the HR department and you know we always have to type up reports and give presentations and since this is a senior class you know the work isn't cutting it. As a fellow classmate, if I was the teacher I wouldn't accept what you guys are doing as enough work.

Me:Well we will let the teacher make that decision, but thanks anyway
Tiny: How long have you worked for this company?

Idiot: Well I was hired straight out of high school. You know only smart people work there, you have to be really smart to get in to work there.

Me: Well considering that they probably will hire 65 percent of the graduating class of this year, I doubt it is that difficult to get in. Plus, they hired you and you were in high school.

Idiot: What are you trying to say?
Cutey: What B------ is trying to say is that we all have different goals so you know, good for you that you got into such a good job

Me:(to myself) no what I was trying to say was that you are not that smart. (to the group) Well let's get back to work. Thanks for the inturruption

Okay, so maybe I embelished a little but you have to understand. He is soooooooo annoying. He does this thing in class where if you speak he will attempt to discredit you. And if the teacher asks a question he literally quotes the book or listens to what you said and then rephrases it so that he can get a pat on the head. Fuckign ass kisser! I can't stand morons who think because they work a 9-5 they can come into class and act like they are better or above us.

What I really want to say (which I mumble to the back of his receeding hairline, probably doesn't wash, dandruff falling, few strand having head) is

"hey idiot, if you were so smart then why are you hear at the age of 35 just getting your fuckign bachelor's. I mean what makes you any better than everyone else who has to struggle every day. So what you work at ##$$%%, well so does 75 percent of the population of (insert name of town) and for your information from the looks of those I have bumped into, they aren't that smart. So take your long face, flaky ass, receeeding hairline having, smelly, useless, good for nothing, teeth flying, idiotic, brain lacking self and do something that will benefit the environment. Shut the fuck up!"

What I really want to tell his head is this" listen up! I may not have a job at this company but guess what you are no better than me. We are both sitting her in HR 315 and I have a 4.0 GPA while your ass has a 2.5 so who is smarter now bitch? And while you will remain here in this god for saken little town dwelling here allowing corporate america to keep eating away at the remaining hairs on your flacky ass head. I will be traveling the world as lawyer benefiting humanity. While you will live mediocre life in this little village probably marry some soppy ass chick and breed contributing to the polluting the planet with more mediocre thinking people, I will be off fighting one human rights battle or another. So continue to use my brain to advance your little grade. Watch what happens 40 years from now!

That's what I want to say, but instead, i just smile

Now do you fear the wrath of the Lady B? I bet you do...
J

I Lost My Ring

2006-12-04T21:52:00.000-05:00

Call me careless or anything else but that woult change the fact that I am really upset about my ring being misplaced. Maybe its just PMS that has got me crying over the fact that for the last day and half I haven't been able to find my ring.

Baby and I decided to organize some boxes on Sunday. I took my ring off and placed it on themantel of the fireplace in the living room. Yesterday evening we were going to look at computer desks and I went to the mantel to put it on after taking a long bath. It wasn't there. Baby had moved it or maybe he hadn't he couldn't remember, but he does remember seeing it in a safe place.

I am upset because today I felt really alone. I mean everytime I wear my ring I feel like someone loves me and looking at my left hand without it on feels wierd. Everyone in school today wanted to know if my fiance ad i had broken up because I didn't have my ring. Of course we hadn't broken up! Idiots! Thanks for the phony concern but uhm...I don't have my ring because it's in my apartment with all my boxes somwhere between fireplace and bookcase.

I am upset! I WANT MY MOTHER -F-ing RING

D-I got you messages girl! I will call you soon. Miss you guys like crazy!

Later people! And pray I find it .

Don't Fly Northwest Part II

2006-11-30T19:39:00.000-05:00

Sorry it took me so long to write you. I have been stressed with school I found out that my petition for the class that my teacher that gave me a B on my last class has conceeded to give me an A-. I am soooooo mad because I did my work and worked hard and to get anything but an A+ in that class is unacceptable. But baby said that I should get over myself that what is the big deal. At least i get a perfect grading semester. i am still silently seething.

In other news My phone is officially not working. So if you have to call me use the house because my cell phone sucks.

I also spanked a test that I thought I would surely fail. We have an exit exam. After you have been approved for graudation you are to take an exit exam. I thought I would surely fail this but I got a 93 and i totally Bs'd the whole thing. I mean seriously I must be either smart or the teacher is very stupid. Since I think that the former is the case hooray to me.

Okay back to my saga

So on Monday I was scheduled to fly out of Indianapolis after a wonderful weekend with my sisters at 8:40. I got to the airport at 7:50 and the line was mad long. I told the lady at the front desk that my flight left in less than forty minutes and that would it be possible for me to check in early. She was very rude and told me to get in line. That I would make my flight. I knew I was going to miss my flight. So while Menty (my younger sister who lives in Indi) waited in her car in the parking lot I stood in line and watched the clock tick away. Needless to say I missed my flight! What the H?!

I was pissed for three reasons:
1. I had to wake up early (and if you know me I hate getting out of bed) and I missed my flight

2. I had an appointment in with the dean of my department fo 4:00

3. I had a test in one of my classes at 5:00

I just knew I wasn't going to get a flight to make any of my appointments or my first class.

Low and behold the lady at the desk was unapologetic. She said stupid things like "well honey, if you knew you had a flight at 8:40 why would you come at 8:00 on a holiday weekend" I replied " I was got here at 7:50 and had over thirty minutes to spare. I asked you to allow me..." anyway, I was heated I ended up paying $25 for a new flight that was cancelled and then delayed and then cancelled and finally boarded at 3:00pm. I am still upset because I didn't make my test which I couldn't make up and I didn't make my appointment with the Dean

So the moral of this story is as follows
1. Don't fly Northwest
2. if you have the misfortune of flying be sure to have plenty of food or buy something to drink and have a book because you will be bored waiting at the terminal
3. Don't schedule anything on that day you are flying in or out because you will not make it
4. Know that thier customer service sucks so don't expect anyone to be helpful to you
5. Plan a place to sleep if you are stranded so you don't have to be stuck in a place you rather wouldn't be during a holiday
6. Don't get mad! Get a free ticket or a meal voucher. Something to make you feel better that your tired ass sitting in a terminal was worht it.
7. Always have a valid driver's liscence!

T: I can only text for now but I miss you honey there is soooooooooooo much drama going on I can't wait to vent! I miss you more than you will ever know. See you guys soon

Aunty A: Where are YOU?

D and supermandru: How is married life

Overwhelmed: Girl I have been reading your blog! Loving it!

Calabar Girl: I am back!

Love you guys and adios for now. I have finals and I have yet to unpack a tangible box except my shoes and clothes (those where in suitcases so they don't count)

Don't Fly Northwest Part I

2006-11-28T15:36:00.000-05:00

First of all let me say that I am an idiot to fly with an expired driver's liscense but being that I really wanted to see my family I decided to take the risk. I mean what could happen?

Well let me outline my traveling situation to all those who will be traveling for christmas, learn from my mistakes and take head lest you fall into the trap of Northwest Airlines

I have only flown Northwest once before and even then there was drama and I ended up getting a free ticket from that well this time i guess they weren't so charitable.

Thursday:
I was originally supposed to fly out of NY at 9:05am on thursday morning.
I had a flight re-scheduled for Thursday morning by northwest at 11 am. I was excited because I got to spend thanksgiving with my sisters. Well just when I was getting into the car to head to the airport, Orbitz gives me a call and let's me know that they flight was cancelled and changed to 3 in the afternoon. I think wow that sucks! So baby and I end up spending the rest of the time at his parents house while I keep glancing at the clock. I mean I really wanted to see my family

Well around 1:00 we head to the airport and get stuck in traffic. I hate NY traffic so I am calling Northwest to see if there is anything wrong or going to be wrong with my new flight and they wouldn't pick up. I was so frustrated. I got to the airport at 3:30 obviously late and the next flight out wasn't till friday morning. You know I was pissed off. I wanted to cry. I mean my family was having thanksgiving dinner and I was stuck in New York. NO offense to baby but I just wanted to see my crazy ass sisters. I mean I had hung out with D and T and thier whole family the previous week and well the bond they had made me miss my sisters even more so I was mad eager to see the crazy lot of them. And just being in New York was hard enough.

By friday I was ready to roll I got to the airport on time and then the lady wouldn't let me confirm my ticket because I had an expired driver's lsicense. but the day before they had re-booked me with my expired liscense. I was getting anxious. Finally they allowed me to check in when I presented previous liscenses, a social security card, and a school i.d. Then it was off to the gate. Because I had an expired liscense I was put to the side and almost missed my flight. Finally a TSA agent allowed me through when they realized I wasn't a terrorist. I was so nervous the whole time. I can't wait till things clear up really!

So instead of the original direct flight I had scheduled I was put on a transfer flight from NY to Detroit.

Now the plot thickens.

My flight from detroit was scheduled to leave at 9:56. It got cancelled and then re-scheduled for 10:11 then got cancelled and I got rebooked on another flight leaving at 1:15. I decided at this point to take matters into my own hands. There was no way I was going to fly into Indianapolis in the dead of night. I had missed black friday, and I had missed hanging out with my siblings on thursday so I headed to customer service. The rude lady at the back of the booth had the audacity to tell me that since my flight was already rebooked for 1:15 if I cancelled then I woudln't get a refund since detroit wasn't my point of origin. Oh and I didn't get compensated for my time wasted. I was pissed off now.

As I was walking by I saw a flight boarding for Indianapolis (this was around 11:45) I asked if I could fly standby and after waiting for a while, I was finally able to get on the 12:05 flight and made it to my family

Well things get worse but because this blog is already long, I'll blog it tomorrow.

Thanksgiving

2006-11-25T17:49:00.000-05:00

While we are in the festive mood I would like to do a little thankgiving tribute

To "Baby" for putting up with my moods, my highs, my lows and loving me for me not because of anything or anyone else

To my sisters for always encouraging and strengthening me in moments of weakness and uncertainty. This year was hard but we are harder. We will make it!

To my bmore family for giving me the best summer EVER! For being true friends unafraid to tell me when i am wrong and encourage me when things got rough. Look forward to DaBu Creations 2007. I love you guys

To my blogging family: I love your work, they inspire, they move, they help in more ways than you know. Everyone's life is another view on how amazing being a live is.

To my blogging readers. Thank you for paying attention to the nonesesical rantins of my confused mind!

_________

No that that's out of the way I have to vent really quick.

I used to have some serious dead weight relationships that I carried around like government work. I mean serious bad relationships. Some naija girls are so superficial and vain. All they know is looks and clothes. I am so happy i took T's advice and dropped those dead weight friends. In hindsight now I don't know why I kept them around. CAse in point. Four days ago, I had this conversation with an unexpected caller:

She: Hey, how are you?
Me: who is this

She: -----e, How come you don't know my number?
Me: uhm... hey how are you (making a funny face at the phone) it's been a while. How did you get my number?

She: A friend of mine saw you at a wedding and got your number from you and passed it on to me
Me: ohhhhhhhh (note to self to beat up person who gave my number to her)So how have you been

She: Well fine, i heard you are getting married! Why didn't you tell me after all our history together
Me: Uhm...we stopped being friends a long time ago! So

She: Well congratulations any way! So are you still fat?
Me: What did you just say? ( thought I heard wrong)

She: Are you still fat? Remember you used to be very fat back in the day? I don't know maybe you man likes fat girls. Me ni te mi oh! I am still hot and sexy. Maybe I will even be the fine one in your wedding party. If you are still fat then you have to slim down for the wedding....so you can fit your dress or else everyone will be looking at me...
Me: Hallow trees bear no fruit...

She: What did you just say
Me: I have to go, my man is coming over by the way are you still singl?

She: What?
ME: Yeah! Talk to you later! Bye

End of conversation!
I kid you not that is exactly how the conversation went. She asked me if I was still fat. I mean, I haven't spoken to your ass in alsmot four years and you have the audacity to ask me if I am still fat! So what if I am, what the hell is your f---ing business!

Na wa o! yeah she is DEFINATELY not invited to the wedding!Uhm and she thought she would be in my bridal party. Ode! When I have my fine ass sisters and my family in baltimore! Who would include that maggot! Shu! I swear if she was in front of me I would have slapped her! Okay seriously no! But she deserves a slap though! What the Hell!

People are foolish!

So how was your thanksgiving? did you miss me? I missed you!

It's Been a While

2006-11-14T19:49:00.000-05:00

I am back!
Yes I know you have missed hearing about moi and all the craziness that makes up this life of mine. Well I am going to give you a one sentence run down of the last few weeks

I was packing, unpacking, traveling, assisting, partying, dancing, eating, sleeping and finally studying!

Basically I crambed most of these activities into the last 14 days and now I am able to say without a doubt I am exhausted.

Baby and I are officially moved in. We turned over the key to the landlord who by the way is a big assh#%^ and we moved into our new place. I have a fireplace in my bedroom people. NOt that I plan to use it because my bmore family has cautioned against carbon monoxide poisoning but hey, at least it can serve as a candle spot along with floor pillows. don't get me started. The last thing on my mind is decorating

Well I have been so caught up with my bmore families wedding and that I didn't think about my own but the reality that I will soon be getting married hit me when I was watching them have thier first dance. I was like "dang, that's going to be me next year" and then panic struck. So I am in full LadyB mode now! All you will probably hear about are the trials of planning and organizing a long distance wedding.

Did I tell you my wedding is going to be in Nigeria! Well now you understand my situation.

Okay so back to my friends wedding, which by the way was so intimate and elegant. You wouldn't have known there were 400 plus people there. It was well planned and gorgeous. I loved every minute of it. And the couple, they are so cute and sweet. Pictures will come later.

So school is in full swing and since I have to run to class now all I can say is
Supermandru and D you guys deserve nothing but the absolute joy and happiness being in love and marriage can bring. We are praying for you and we love you. Thanks for allowing us (baby and I) to share in your special day. By the way: GET SOME FRIGGIN REST! and that goes to you to T!

What's been going on in your world people! Let me in on the gist!

Underneath boxes and *ish

2006-11-01T19:22:00.000-05:00

right now I am sitting in a room stacked high with boxes and I am wondering why I am mad emotional. I have no attachment to this apartment. I have nothing hear that I really like. I am really happy to be going to a bigger place.

Then why am I sitting here listening to Josh Groban and tearing up?

In other news
What is up with Halloween. I am supposed to be excited about the scariest creatures that my mind can phantom? I mean all this little demons running up to my porch wanting me to give them some candy. What the hell. I didn't even open the door. And then the most annoying ones are the agbayas! those old people that are still holding onto thier trick-or-treating days!

What the hell?

I am sitting in class yesterday. Mind you I had been shuffling crap to the dumpster and Goodwill all day and I was tired out of my mind. And this guy is talking about how he is going to miss trick-or-treating and so can we get out of class early. I look at him with all the disgut int he world. I mean You couldn't come up with a better reason.

Then I sat back and thought about it! A part of us wants to be child again. I know I enjoy running around with my friends and playing in the sprinklers even though I am friggin past that age. I know nothing feels better than winning a snowball fight and running inside for some hot chocolate. Or the freedom you feel when you are racing down a hill, handle bar and peddle free with your arms stretched down the hill on your bike.

The sweet feeling of getting a huge hug from your dad or mom. Or the fact that when you call even without saying anything, they immediately know you are hurting and they automatically start comforting you.

These are all childhood things I want to hold onto, things I don't want to let go off. So maybe I am scorning someone elses childhood, maybe I should just be a little more accomodating to that idiot in class who wants to eat candy instead of have a great conversation on the Tort system.

Or maybe I should stop giving the kids nustrisystem bars and give them snickers instead!

Well, this one's over so maybe next year I will turn a new leaf!

Maybe but don't hold your breathe trick or treaters! I am not really good at keeping new years resolutions!

What's going on with you guys these days?

What the F****

2006-10-31T03:00:00.000-05:00

I was reading blogs early this morning. You know when you are too tire to sleep. I found a whole network of Nigerian blogs I have been missing out on. Thanks to Overwhelmed and LondonBuki I plan to catch up with my Nigerian people jare. There is so much going on.

Like this *ish I just read on Adaure's blog about Jay-Z. My Naija people, what the F**** ( I promised baby I would stop cursing) Anyway copy and paste this link
http://www.andnetwork.com/index?service=direct/0/Home/recent.titleStory&sp=l53877
And then visit http://according2adaure.blogspot.com/. She is really interesting
Later people

We Are Moving

2006-10-31T01:32:00.000-05:00

I love packing. Now most people think I am crazy when I say that. But honestly I love packing my bags and moving to another place. I hate leaving my friends or family but I love the idea of experiencing new places.

My parents never lived in a place more than four years. I don't think we have a family house except in the village and even there it was more for Christmas than anything else. Most people can go home and say "this is the room I grew up in" I can't do that.

I am not mad about that fact. I actually think that is why I get restless after three years. I feel like I have to move, go somewhere, do something.

Anyway, you may be saying "but she just moved to CT" well I am planning on moving out of CT in the next two years. Hopefully to NY. But right now we are justing moving down the street to a bigger apartment.

So if you don't hear from me for a while. I am stuck in the middle of boxes, a shredder and paperwork for school.

Later kiddies

My Poetry

2006-10-27T23:39:00.000-05:00

I decided to explore my poetic side. I have this blog that I will only post once here so if you ever need it again then visit it with your own browser. Anyway, I have a whole bunch of poetry and well I don't share it with people that often. Once in a while I put it here. But I had to let someone who reads my blog know just how bad i feel

click here This is My Silence to read the latest poem.

In lighter news...

I cried today.!

Have a great weekend folks

My Birthday Weekend and Life After

2006-10-27T22:51:00.001-05:00

It's been a crazy few days and I haven't been able to blog about anything going on so here is it in a nutshell. I must publicly say thank you to my bmore family for coming down and making my birthday a really wonderful event. I woult' put your pictures on a public sight but I will send your pictures to you privately. My sight is public so I will keep your identities but I really appreciate and Love how you made my 25th birthday a wonderful event.

Friday-
Spent last friday prepping for my people that were coming. Wound up sleeping half the day away. I had had an eventful week and couldn't just sit around waiting plus I was too excited so I slept. It ended up being a cold day and my friends got here later in the evening so we went out to Benigans and had some drinks and food. Regaled each other on tales of family and life in Nigeria and of course had to tell them some funny antics my father did. We had a blast. Baby was acting goofier than I have seen him in a while and that assuaged my nervousness. It was so cool.

They fell asleep during a tour of my campus. i don't blame them, because there really isn't anything to see on campus anyway.

Saturday:
Woke up early because I was mad excited that my people's were in town. We picked up and headed to the bowling alley after a brief tour of my little town. They found our "downtown" amusing and very cute but I know the real downtown is anything but except for BORING.

Anyway we went bowling. Uncle Dru did excellent and so did Baby with his bowling bag and hand gaurd. I think he wanted to show off that he had been bowling in a league. Well let's just say he did pretty good. UNcle dru had the highest score and then of course the Ladies. Don't hate! It's not like we bowl for a living or have the left hand advantage. We did pretty good. I dare you to come and try to beat me. I refuse to reveal how many gutter bowls I had, at least I had a strike!

Then it was off to our huge mal. Okay it is pretty big that is one advantage of living in a college town because they have a big enough mall. NOt as big as Arundel Mills but bigger than Owings mills mall. So there! Anyway we went to the Mall breifly walked around and then got ready for our night in NY

We missed our train to NY and while waiting for another decided to grab a quick snack at Mcdonalds. Then the saga of the creepy bike guy came into play.
So baby pulls up to this remote gass station and asks this guy for direction to the nearest fast food place. The guy gives this wierd smirky smile and points us in the direction we were headed. We were all joking about getting lynched because it seemed like he was about to call in reinforcements direct us to a remote area and get us killed. Anyway, it was one of those "you had to have been there moments". We ended up getting our food and heading to the train with minutes to spare. On the train D and uncle dru crashed and T, B and I just sat around chatting and reading the paper. The ride was cool and LONG.

You know how when you are headed somewhere and excited you are just anticipating so much fun that things get well dragged.

T of course took matters under control and hailed us a cab ASAP when we landed in Manhattan. She was all sexy New York chick and fit right in with the populi. We got into our cabs and had dinner at SPICE. Sis. D had invited some friends and it was great. K Baby's brother decided to join us so it was fun. We had great food and lots of jokes. I ended up getting suprised with a candle and a slice of cake. That is something that hasn't happened to me in years. Thanks for that guys. I can't remember the last time I blew out candles. I think it was when I turned 18. So thanks for that.

Anyway, then we headed to club WEbster Hall. What a wierd name for a club. But what fun we had. We started the party. We got there and were on the guest list. We headed downstairs to the hip hop room and as always the idiots weren't dancing. They were just standing against the wall. You know the ignorant guys that come to the club and until there is a grind fest they will not get on the dance floor. So we were chilling too. then Sis. D Requested "caught up" by Usher from the D.J and we (my crew) got on the dance floor and cut loose. Of course monkey see, monkey do! Before long the room was in its usual frenzy of gropers and grinders. After about two hours of dancing realizing that "Agba ti'n de" we headed home

On the way T conked out quick then D, then uncle dru, finally baby conked out. I sat there for a while thanking my lucky stars that I have such amazing people in my life! I feel so lucky and to think I am starting my new 25th year surrounded by real friends! I am only sorry that my fav. Cuz couldn't come out! But hey it all works out in the end.

Sunday:
I hate goodbyes. They came over to say goodbye and I almost cried. We said our goodbyes and well Baby dropped me off in school and I started working on my paper. It was back to real world right?

Monday:
We started packing today. Officially baby and I are moving to a bigger apartment. It's not the apartment or the house we are lookign to buy but we have to move cuz our landlord is tripping so we are moving to a better place. I guess I am happy because it means washer, dryer and dishwasher and I get a fireplace in my bedroom.
I went to class and flunked a test. I think I am hung over from the weekend. Did I mention that my family brought so much Shandy. and baby and I have worked our way at this point through like five?

Tuesday:
School and packing that has been my life. Packing during the day and school at night. And then calling these people with the RSVP's for my girls wedding so things are hectic in Casa De Baby/LadyB. Baby had to go to court today and I went along and well let's just say that things worked out in our favor! THANK GOD!

Wednesday:
Spent the whole day packing and calling people. Baby came home today and we toasted with our last bottles of shandy and then we went back to work packing. we were toasting because baby got another bonus. The guy is a f--- genius. To bad we are both so busy packing and moving that we can't celebrate yet. But that will come in it's time. Had a fight with Vixen. I love her too much for my own good! I wonder if she really understands how much she hurts me sometimes. I don't know...

Thursday:
Well busy as always packing. I think by now you get my drift

Friday:
Slept. I didn't do #$ish today. I decided to rest. My back and arms hurt from lifting boxes. Driving to goodwill stores and dropping stuff off. I am tired of boxes and packing crap all over the apartment. I can't wait for order. We have the dining room set up as the box depot and all the boxes are stacked there. We have the bedroom left. And baby has the TV, and CPU area to finish so the home is in chaos.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring.... sorry I do know ...MORE PACKING!

Wish me luck. I will post pictures of our new place!

did you miss me? Well now you are caught up! so yeah...call me...holla back

My Birthday Weekend and Life After

2006-10-27T22:51:00.000-05:00

My B-Day is Over

2006-10-17T09:29:00.000-05:00

On the Twelfth day of my bmore promised me:
12 bottles of Shandy
11 napkins to cry with
10 hours of good sleep
9 homes on the market
$8 bucks pocket change
7 Hershy's Kisses,
$60 bucks store credit
5 solved math problems,
4 vege egg rolls,
3 pairs of maddens,
2 asprin tablets,
and a gift card for old navy.

Yes folks my birthday is officially done. So what did I do besides get flooded with calls and text messages. I slept!

That's right folks I slept and then baby brought me breakfast in bed! I dont' eat brreakfast but since it was 2:00 in the afternoon , I had some good pancakes and "stuff". Then it was off to school for a couple tests. I felt that those tests were great. Totally killed them, then baby took me to a secrete location for dinner. That was A LOT of fun. And then well...yeah

So I had a great day and well I didn't blog because I didn't feel like it! It was my birthday and People should be blogging about me not the other way around. So while I was busy having fun, what where your lazy asses doing? Holla back!

Countdown 9, 10, 11

2006-10-15T15:59:00.000-05:00

How nice it would have been to do the countdown on the days that they deserve. But unfortunately things that are fortunate got in the way. To all my drinking buddies raise your glasses to the first man I ever loved "My Daddy" Heres to you dad!

So I am currently at the inlaws and my birtday is tomorrow. I am supposed to be studying but I decided to write what has been going on.

On friday my dad came over to our place and of course baby and I were nervouse because we didn't know what he would say. He loved it. He loved the color scheme and how even though the apartment is small it was very clean. HE kept us up till four talking and gisting about things that happened in the past. I have a funny story to tell but it is best told in yoruba so I guess I can't write about it. How I wanted to take him to New York to see the city and visit but you know how my dad is, he tends to promise things to people just to make them happy so instead of spending a very leisure day in New York we woke up at six and headed out to the New York church. Of course I assumed that it would be another dry ass service and I was preparing myself for a good snooze.

But my daddy, charisma and all, stole the show. He spent the whole time making people laugh and preaching. I mean I haven't heard my dad preach in a while but damn! He is really good! I mean everyone, young and old, enjoyed the service. We came back to the inlaws and had lunch and kind of lazed around for the rest of the day. I have to say at this point that I am really impressed at how my dad can make people change. That is all I have to say about that.

Anyway, we had a long night talking and gisting and well lots of inner drama happened but my father who can see no wrong in anyone is the best example of how a christian should be and I feel sometimes that I fall short but then again there is a line between being a christian and allowing people to take advantage of you. My father knows how to balance his christianity and the later very well, I don't so I am an extremist. I would rather not be a christian than let you take advantage of me. That is my little rant

Today I dropped my dad off at the airport. As always it was an interesting thing. I didn't cry outside but I hurt really bad inside. My dad is going home and the next time I see him, I will be getting ready to get married. I mean when I land in Nigeria next year, it's not because I am coming home to visit it's because I am about to become someone's wife. The realization that I am no longer daddy's little girl but Baby's lady just began sinking in as I watched him walk down the terminal. He got in line and after they checked his ticket he turned gave one final wave and then walked out of sight. I just stood froozen. I wanted to run after him and get one more hug. I wanted him to stay because I felt if he did he could keep time still a bit longer before I crossed into womanhood. I want to be daddys little girl forever...

Thoughts kept flooding my head and I wanted to, in some form protect my father from everyone this weekend. It is weird but my father is a very happy man and anyone or thing that would kill that inner sense of awe in him i get very defensive about. Watching him walk away made me feel like that responsibility and that job was being prematurely taken away from me...I don't know, I need a drink!

Well as you can tell I am still a bit emotional. So to make me feel better baby took me to go get breakfast as opposed to going home straight so I could sort out my feelings.
After an hour or two of him bugging out with me he said he would be right back and went to buy something. He came back with eleven napkins. And said "okay, here are eleven napkins and if you feel like crying at least you will be able to have something to write in your song. But the trick is, -------, you have to confine your tears to these eleven napkins." I started to laugh at that and then I started to cry. He gets me. I was holding back. God I love this man!

Anyway so n. e. way since my dad has been around I have managed to catch only 10 hours of sleep in four days. Impressive that I can still move right. And on Friday night at 12:00pm just when I thought I had no hope of getting number 9 I got an email from my realtor with a list of nine new houses that just got on the market in our area. So here is the song:

On the eleventh day of my birthday my baby gave to me:
11 napkins to cry with
10 hours of good sleep
9 homes on the market
$8 bucks pocket change
7 Hershy's Kisses,
$60 bucks store credit
5 solved math problems,
4 vege egg rolls,
3 pairs of maddens,
2 asprin tablets,
and a gift card for old navy.

Tomorrow is the big day ladies and gentlemen, I shall be expecting phone calls beginning at 12 tonight! feel free to call I am turning 25!

Damn! Agba ti 'n de!

Countdown Pause

2006-10-14T05:06:00.000-05:00

Daddy is in town ! and he is looking healthy which I am glad for. So I couldn't blog day nine because I was mad tired and still running around trying to get things ready for daddy's arrival.

Anyway since I didn't have anything for day nine until midnight I guess that didn't matter. And today, Day ten we are heading off to church in New York bcos daddy decided he would preach there.

So later today I will put down day 9 and ten but for now remember to get some rest for me.

P.S: I LOVE MY DADDY

Countdown to Birthday-8

2006-10-12T13:38:00.000-05:00

I realized something today, I am off by one day. That means if I posted yesterday I would have ended on the 15th which is sunday and we all know that my birthday is on monday. IF YOUR ASS DOESN'T KNOW THAT MY BIRTHDAY IS ON MONDAY the 16th, stop reading my blog right now and slap yourself. Oyah! slap yourself.

Now you can keep reading.

My dad is in town. Well technically he comes to my home tomorrow. The thing about daddy is that prior to him coming it is a frenzy of preperation. I mean we have been cleaning our little apartment as if we are janitors. Not that our little home is messy it's just, Daddy is coming. Did I mention that I have been cooking all day. And then I call my dad and he says that he doesn't eat past 6:00pm. My daddy is now a health freak. He started to advice me on what fruits will help me speed up my metabolism.( you should hear him say that word Metabolism, it is hilarious)

Yes everyon. I am a daddy's girl to the hilt. I love my mother but my dad and I have a connection. i guess it's because we are so similar and when I was growing up I felt my mom was trying to force me to become something I wasn't. I was a tomboy and my dad just catered to that, my mother put me in a skirt and heels and stuck my ass in the kitchen. In the end I am a balanced person for both thier efforts. I can beat up guys and I a can make a mean egusi soup! Hah! you know I am a good cook. Ask now! My bmore family can testify, remember "sunday" dinner at my place! yeah!

Okay so i have been working my ass off all day and I went to vacum the car and wash it and guess what, in the end when I was emptying my pockets I had $8.08 of change left. Can you believe it! Hahahahahahahahahaha! Even fate is playing my song with me! I just had to blog about it.

I am not looking forward to all the driving this weekend( daddy is in town)
Today: Daddy get's here and we drive him from Laguardia Airport to the Aina's
for the night(daddy promised his friends he would spend the night with them. Imagine! after I don cook!)

Friday: Pick daddy up and drive him around town while he shops for stuff for nigeria (always take daddy to walmart)

Saturday: drive daddy to N.Y. to preach at Baby's parent's church and visit with the in-laws. spend the night in N.Y. because he promised them he would spend the night with them

sunday: Daddy leaves for Texas, drive home and cry because the next time I will see my daddy I will be getting ready to walk down the aisle and well, I am an emotional chap

Monday: MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!

That's my schedule, so if you call me and I am quick on the phone, I apologise, but when daddy is in town, he desires (and deserves) 110%. I feel sorry for Baby! He has never experienced the power of my dad's charisma. This will be an interesting weekend. I will tell you all about it, trust me! Stories galore!

Okay here is the song

On the 8th day of my birthday the care wash gave to me:
$8 bucks pocket change
7 Hershy's Kisses,
$60 bucks store credit
5 solved math problems,
4 vege egg rolls,
3 pairs of maddens,
2 asprin tablets,
and a gift card for old navy.

Question: does it matter that I plan to spend the $8 bucks on my way back from class at Subway and that I already ate the hershey's and vege eggrolls.

Countdown to Birthday-7

2006-10-10T22:49:00.000-05:00

Am I an over acheiver?
That is a rhetorical question. You might want to answer after you read the following. In my Commercial Law class I have a quiz everyday I have the class at the beginning of class. As you guessed it I went ahead and studied my ass off and well got a 10. so every class I get 10 out of ten and I have grown accustomed to getting that.

Well last class we had we had our first in-class open book quiz. I got a 96% and I was pissed. Why was I pissed? Because it was an open book test for crying out loud! I was pissed! and since monday I have been thinking about it. I mean I got a f-ing 96%, how could i have done so badly! And to top it off, it irks me that I didn't do better. I mean an A is an A whether it is a 96 or 100, but I feel like I let myself down.

Now you can answer....Am I an over acheiver?

In other news, since I started writing this song I was wondering what to do with #7 and so I happened to mention it to Baby because I didn't know what the hell i was going to do with #7 and he said he didn't know.

So after a long day I walk into the house and sitting on the bed are seven hershey's kisses. (insert your ahhhhhhs and that's sweet here) Anyway, since I still didn't have a 7 I am happy baby found something for me

I know you love my song so here I go:
On the 7th day of my birthday my baby gave to me: 7 Hershy's Kisses, $60 bucks store credit 5 solved math problems, four vege egg rolls, three pairs of maddens, two asprin tablets, and a gift card for old navy.

Countdown -Day 6

2006-10-09T09:15:00.000-05:00

I realize now it was greed

So I believe it was on Day 3, I went shoe shopping with Baby. There is this really nice store I found by accident. About a month ago Baby and I were in this grocery store and this lady walked by with this cool ass pants. First let me start of by saying this lady was like my mother's age but she was wearing these really nice pants that I couldn't stop staring. The pants were mad baggy. And after about five minutes of open gawking I walked up asked her were she found these pants. She immediately told me that it was at this store called "Mandees" right next door and these pants (jeans) were like 10 bucks.

So I tell baby, who by now is loosing patience and doesn't understand the girl thing with the pants, that I wanted to swing by and "see" for myself about these 10 buck designer pants. We end up going to this store that is a cross between Rainbow and Delias and Debs.I am so excited I found the pants that happened to have been BabyPhat for 10bucks and I found this skirt that I have been oogling off of T for like years now and recently spotted in Delias for like $40 , for ten bucks as well. I am so excited at this point.As we are leaving I glance over to thier shoe rack and see they are selling Steve Madden boots. Not the knock offs but the real deal for like 15 bucks,it was thier pre-winter sale.I wanted to buy some shoes so bad, but baby was in a rush so we didn't.

Back to the present, on Day 3,it was mad cold and after hearing me gripe about how my feet are going to fall off, Baby agrees to take meto go get some shoes. Now you know how guys are, they rush you when you are in your section but they take twenty minutes deciding whether or not to buy a tie and then choose not to buy it! Don't get me started.

So we get to the store, and I was about to try these boots on and Baby was like "don't you know your size?" I got irritated so I said "duh" and he was like "Well why are you trying these on then, just get them and let's go, blah blah blah blah" Anyway, since he was buying I grabbed three pairs of boots, different styles and colors of course and walked to the check out. Now, my old boots from last year which I got on sale at the Steve Madden shop at the Mall were a size above my usual size. So I assumed these would be too.

So today, after doing five loads of laundry yesterday, I had planned to launch my new brown suede steve madden boots. I had the whole outfit planned with my brown Edie Bauer jacket and some Aero hoodie that I had lying around etc.

Low and behold the shoes are too big.They are so big that when I walk I slide forward. Apperently I should have stuck with my size. So now I have to return three pairs of shoes
I go by the store this morning and guess what? They didn't have the boots in my size. So now I have this coupon for the cost of three Steve Madden shoes. Store Credit is what they call it. Great! Just when I was thinking I was going to be looking fly on campus.
"Vanity, upon vanity, all is vanity"

On the sixth day of my birthday baby gave to $60 bucks store credit 5 solved math problems, four vege egg rolls, three pairs of maddens, two asprin tablets, and a gift card for old navy.

I have a question, because I have approx. 60 bucks in store credit does that knock out number 3 now that Idon't have those shoes? This is my dilemna

Countdown Days 4 and 5

2006-10-08T22:43:00.000-05:00

Spent the better part of the last two days eating and working on math problems. I love school I hate my math teacher and I can't believe that I am not in bed with exhaustion. I know you are wondering what happened to the song so here it is.

okay here is my song
On the fourth day of my birthday my baby gave to four vege eggrolls, three pairs of maddens, two asprin tablets and gift card for old navy.

On the fifth day of my birthday my baby gave to me five solved math problems, four vege egg rolls, three pairs of maddens, two asprin tablets, and a gift card for old navy.

P.S: My dad is coming to see me in four days. I can't wait!

Countdown to Birthday 3

2006-10-06T22:38:00.000-05:00

So...
I had a long conversation with T-girl today and I am so looking forward to the weekend when they come up. Big news...

Vixen is going to stay in America! Yep she has decided to stay and not travel for another year to help me pay for my wedding. Well that is just the gist of the story the rest is left for insiders only.

As for my other sister Menty, well she is going to stay until my wedding and then she will decide what to do next. She still hates it here and wants to return to Niaja but hey that is up to her

speaking of family...My dad is in the country. I was on the phone with him last night for a while. Uhm...I am still researching clubs but I found a place to eat. So, I am opening the eating/dinner thing up for anyone that wants to come out, let me know in advance so I can RSVP on Saturday night it is dinner in N.Y. hoping my fav. aunt and uncle can join us. Sat. the 21st I think. I will have to email the info to you guys. You will enjoy the food.

Was supposed to do laundry but baby took me shopping for shoes instead because it is getting cold in Danbury and flip flops aren't working anymore. Which reminds me T and D bring sweaters. I mean bring clothes that will keep you warm at night because it is mad cold here and I guess I haven't gotten used to it but it is colder than Bmore I guarantee, even in the summer I had to wear a sweatshirt in the evenings and since we are going out in the evenings then well you want to be warm.

Uhm......what else
Okay well that is it, I slept the whole day and I finally got to read uncle dru's blog. took some notes down I mean there is the proper way for ladies to greet in Nigeria too, I haven't been home in a while so I am sure my darling sisters who have can update me so I don't make myself look like a fool when I go back. Looking forward to all of you coming here.

Oh and in conclusion, I have a new blog. i swear this is the last one. I realized that I hadn't written my poetry on the net, so I went into my archives and started posting poetry that I had from way back like when I was 16 and I started posting them. I hope you like what you read. you can find it at
http://oktoberbaby.blogspot.com/

it is a private blog so let's just keep it between us. If you have any questions about the poems let me know otherwise feel free to commment and tell me how warped my mind might appear to be.

okay here is my song
On the third day of my birthday my baby gave to me: three pairs of maddens, two asprin tablets and gift card for old navy.

enjoy your evening kids.

Countdown to Birthday -2

2006-10-05T18:51:00.000-05:00

Today is not a good day. I woke up with this pounding headache
And as you guessed it baby didn't make it any better. I lay awak for the better part of the day and then called my dad. We spoke for a while. God I miss him.

Which reminds me Mommy and Daddy: HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

I don't know how you have stayed together so long. With all the controversy and haters in this world sometimes I am tempted to throw in the towel. I hope I am not turning into a quiter. Well the silence in this small apartment is making me claustraphobic. I can't wait for my girls to be here. Seriously, all this village life is not ment for me.

If anyone out there knows a good bar and or club I can take my Bmore family to in NY please let me know. I have been researching and I haven't found one.

As you can tell my thoughts are very disjointed today. Today is not a good day.
so here is the second part of the song

-On the second day of my birthday my true love gave to me-two asprins
and A gift card for Old Navy

enjoy kiddos

Countdown to Birthday-Post 1

2006-10-04T18:51:00.000-05:00

Okay so I am about to turn 25

(moment of silence for and deep breaths...)

I don't know what to say at this point but that I am excited! For the first time in a LONG time I am actually happy to see my birthday come. For the first time I can almost taste the victory and success of accomplishing my goal for the year. Almost being the operative word in that sentence. Since I can't taste it just yet I can only enjoy the aroma of and salivate as I anticipate the greater good!

What might you ask is this greater good...

For legal issues I cannot disclose anymore, all I can say I CAN'T Wait

As all countdowns go, I have exactly 12 days left in my twenty fourth year of existence So I decided to sing the 12 days of LadyB song. Enjoy

On the First day of my birthday my true love gave to me- A gift card to Old Navy

In more gossip news:
Apperently my roomy has forgotten that we had a discussion on the phone. She saw me the other day and was like all huggy. What the hell is wrong with this girl. I mean is she schizto? I mean we had a fight and now you see me on campus and start hugging me like we weren't just fighting

Well that's all folks gotta run to meeting. Tell you the rest later

Free Spirit

2006-10-02T02:23:00.000-05:00

My sister took the time to build relationships when others built rejection
My sister took the time to listen, when others turned and shunned
My sister rocked you while you cried when others didn't understand your sorrow
My sister held up your name when others put you down

My sister is a free spirit

My sister is often misunderstood. We lack the patience to take time to know and feel
My sister is often mislead, she trust so easily and loves so fully
My sister is often in pain, she hurts physically and doesn't know how to protect her heart

My sister is a free spirit

My sister didn't judge me when I intensley judged myself
My sister didn't hodl me back, when i doubted myself
My sister didn't fight me but fought the demons in me when I hated myself
My sister understood me when myelf confused me

My sister the free spirit

My sister endures so much where others have fallen
My sister loves so hard when others have thrown in the towel
My sister believes in so much, when my faith has worn thin
My sister has faith, when I have lost all hope

My sister the free spirit

It may have taken a long time to recognize who you
But you took your time and went at your pace
I am sorry I pushed when i should have listend
I am sorry I fought when i should have helped
I am sorry I shut down when I should have lifted
I am sorry I didn't understand you...

I didn't understand your spirit

Happy Birthday to the one person in the world that recognizes and embraces the concept of living life to the fullest. I wish you a much BETTER YEAR ahead. I can feel that things are going to be better. I know they will be...I am here...We are here.

Raise your glasses everyone to VIXEN! I couldn't have asked for a better sister!

Ramblings

2006-10-01T06:35:00.000-05:00

My birthday is coming up. I know vixen yours is like tomorrow so don't worry you will get your tribute.

But back to me since this is my blog. And my baltimore family is coming down to party with me. Two things about me that people don't know because I am like this tough chick
1. I am absolutely loyal
2. I am absolutely selfish with the people I am loyal to

So you can imagine my thrill that my baltimore family doesn't know anyone in my hick town to go visit. They are coming for just ME! I am so spoiled! LOVE IT!

So I downloaded some music by this band called The Shins. I think they are pretty good. I was watching Garden State for the twelfth time and I fell for the soundtrack so I downloaded the whole thing.

My boy Morgan and I were talking in school yesterday during study hall and he was letting me know about some new Indi concerts coming to town. Since there really isn't anyting else to do I might just go.

Baby and I were supposed to go for the Nigerian Independence day party in New York this passing weekend but we have so much reading to do for school that we opted out. So we spent the day reading. I went to study hall etc. I am sure by next year when things are a bit more settled I will be more "nysnc" plus my girl T was supposed to come up and because she just got back from Nigeria, I couldn't in all good faith party without her...

That being said, Happy Birthday Nigeria.

I wonder at this time and age what Nigeria feels it has accomplished. Some people compare Nigeria to America but I wonder if at the age that Nigeria is right now could America have competed in the Modern day market. I doubt it. I think we have done well for ourselves. I think we should pat ourselves on the back. That being said we should also make a greater effort to improve. And Improvement starts with us as individuals. I applaud those who have already gone back and started to boost the economy I just can't wait for my turn. Get my life in order and contribute to my country, make my mark.

To close my tribute to our nation I must say this, even if you don't make your mark in Nigeria or America at large. Make your mark on the people who you come in contact with. Don't let them forget (in a positive way) that there are some Nigerias out there that respect themselves, work hard, shun curruption and have goals and ambitions. And for those reading who are not Nigerian, not all of us are 419 remember to generalize is to be ignorant!

Enjoy your Independence and Call me!

Holla back!

Confrontation Part I

2006-09-29T14:59:00.000-05:00

Yes!
I am back with drama. Why is it that people just don't understand the concept of leaving well enough alone? Why must people test me? Why are people ignorant? The school year has just started and already I am having drama. HELP ME!

It enfolds thus:

Yesterday I hear, Ring ring ring (of my cell phone) Now when my phone rings like that it is an unidentifiable number and so I don't pick it up. But this was a CT number so I thought it must be one of my classmates.

Me: Hello

Male: Hello, is this ----- (my name is totally butchered)

Me: Yes

Male: Hi, this is _------ from your JLA class

Me: Oh, hey what's up? and how did you get my number?

Male: Well I just was just talking to some girl and she said she knows you and well she gave me your number

Me: Okay, who is this stranger

Male: Oh, your old roommate.

Me: You mean ------

Male: Yeah, anyway I was wondering if we could meet up for coffe and discuss the chapter over the weekend

Me: But you are not in my group

Male: yeah but I thought it would be cool, you know just us discussing the chapter

Me: ARe you trying to ask me out?

Male: Sort of, but you know, we could just study if that's all you want

Me: Dude, I am engaged

Male: Really, ----- told me differently

Me: Well, she lied to you

Male: So sorry for this, uhm... (silence for like five seconds)...this is really akward

Me: Yeah, listen I have to run, see you in class on Monday

Male: yeah, ....(silence for five seconds) okay, goodbye

Now you get the drift, my ex roommate gave some guy in my JLA class my number so that he could call me and ask me out. Not to mention the fact taht she told the guy that I was single. Now I am flattered that a some guy thinks I am hot but trust me and I mean this in the hugest of forms. I AM NOT LOOOKING. In case anyone needs me to declare this any louder then let me say it this way. LADY B IS OFFICIALLY OFF THE MARKET. I have been this way for so many years now I don't even know how to begin if things ended (God for bid!)

Anyway now the confrontation happens

ring ring ring ring ring ring (my phone rings today)It's my old roommates number. I dind't give her a ring tone cause she annoys me.

Me: What up?

She: Hey ----- it's me, ------

Me: yeah, what's going on?

She: Nothing, Uhm I got a call from a few people that you are going around on campus calling me a liar?

Me: What?

She: I dont appreciate this at all. I never lied to you and haven't even spoken to you

Me: Back up. YOu heard what?

She: Yeah some diff. people came and told me that you called me a liar and some other things i will not repeat.

Me: No I didn't

She: Well what did you say?

Me: First of all I dont' live on campus anymore, and I don't hang out with your crowd

She: Whatever, I don't appreciate you trying to put slander on my name

Me: You don't put slander on peoples names, and if you could put slander on a person's name I didn't say or write whatever it is that you feel that I must have

She: Whatever -----, we are not friends and I would...

Me: I would appreciate you not giving my number to some guy to call me, and furthermore I think this call is stupid. You shouldn't call me unless you have found the remote control for my television and are calling for me to pick it up. And I would appreciate that you respect the fact that I am in a relationship and I don't like random guys calling me and asking me out at 10:00pm on a Thursday night!

She: Whatever.

Me: Hopefully that means you understand me

(she goes quiet) I hang up the phone. She calls back. I don't pick up. This is to much drama at 1:00 on a Friday. Ugh! She didn't leave a voice message. For once she did something smart!

What a way to start a weekend. I need a drink!

Updates

2006-09-27T03:48:00.000-05:00

LAW SCHOOL FORUM! yes people, I have been saying I wanna go to law school for like so many years. I have been researching and yes Columbia is my first choice. Always has been always will be.

So this law school forum is coming up soon and I plan to go for it. did I mention I started studying for the LSATs and my exam is coming up in December. I am sooooooo nervous. But I am studying my ass off

My classes have been great! I have no finals just a whole bunch of papers to write which we all know taht I am great at because I am a writer. What else?
We are starting a new club at our school called the Business Professionals of America. We are looking to get the school to sponsor it. If they do I get to be the President of this chapter. Hopefully I could have left my mark if this happens. Jeffie and I have been working on it.

Last but most important! My family is back: Vixen is out of the hospital and T and D are all back. They had so much fun and they are coming up to visit me here in Danbury. If only I could offer them something more than this boring town...hmmmmm, maybe we could come up to NY for dinner and find something to do up there or whatever! Point is they are coming to see me dammit! That is a good enough reason right?!

I missed them so much and I can't wait to hear all the details.

He Showed me

2006-09-22T17:53:00.000-05:00

I used to rock a jerry curl afro when I was eight. I had very curly hair and sometimes if I didn't comb it, my hair would lock. I thought I was independant so I had my mother take me to go get a jerry curl.

I liked my curls dry, so I never put any activator in it like most people in the 80's did. I didn't like the "soul glow" look and tried to keep it looking like a fro

I remember he would show me how to comb my 'fro to be big. While he showed me he would tell me stories about how he had a 'fro once and how it used to be really big. I would laugh cause he had a bald head now and I couldn't imagine how his head used to have hair.

__________________________________________________

I wanted to be a boy so bad. I had this tomboy spirit in me and would race the boys, play soccer with the boys, beat up the boys and climb trees like the boys. He never once complained that he had all girls and found it amusing that he had a tomboy. He showed me how to ride a bike, how to throw a punch, how to make people laugh. He taught me how to mark a goal post, how to run with my heels digging into the ground faster than the rest. He pointed out trees I shouldn't climb because of thorns, how to mow the lawn and how to knot a rope.

________________________________________________

I hated getting up in front of people, I thought I looked fat and ugly. I didn't like the fact that everyone was staring and I didn't think I had a voice. I was five when he took me to church, and put me in front of the congregation had me sing a solo. He showed me how to have confidence, and not be intimidated by what is infront of me. He taught me how to sing and stand up straight projecting my voice. He never doubted my gift, he never doubted my talent.

He is my father and today he turns another year wiser. Happy Birthday dad! Thanks for everything you taught me and are still teaching me. I love you!

p.s: My two special men (my dad and baby) are born in September and they both love it!

People say...

2006-09-20T02:42:00.000-05:00

I just have to say real quick that this is the best looking couple out there! Believe that! Furthermore since we will celebrating 5 years together on Sept. 21 I just have to say it's been the best 5 years of my life. And all those haters that said we wouldn't make it, all those idiots that tried to kill the love...People where are they now!

So, since tomorrow is our anniversary and I might be in the middle of a quiz and to busy to blog I just have to say it now. Happy Anniversary baby!

(picture has been taken down for privacy purposes)

In other news I am fully in school again. 7 classes and 21 credits. So you will see less of me now. I had a great summer and well check in from time to time you may hear all the college drama. That's right people. I am back in college so no more soulstress and welcome back "Requiem of College Days, Phase II"

Enjoy the rest of your week!